The Lion, The Witch and The Bathtub?

All right so it was a dog, 3 bitches and a bathtub, but let's not get too technical.
Wednesday night we went over to the cafeteria to eat again. Everyone had exams on Thursday and we were too swamped and fried to cook anything. Ashley came with us and we all settled down at a lovely picnic table in the shade of some very large pine trees. The meal went well, we chatted about our upcoming exams and whatever else crossed our minds. When we were finished Christena and Ashley decided they wanted ice cream, so Carmen and I told them we'd meet them back at the house where we would all engage in some heavy duty studying. But as Medley stood up, Tenie and Carmen realized that there was something very wrong with his fur-he had laid in a giant pile of pine sap. His whole haunch was covered in the sticky goop, and, as we discovered when we got home, so was his poor little member. They pulled the big chunks off of his leg and they went and got ice cream. Upon arriving at our house, the ice cream was stored in the freezer and the dog comb, shampoo and butter were all taken out and Tenie set to work. I found an old towel and some hair dryers and set them up in the bathroom. Ashley sat on the floor with Tenie and Medley, trying to keep him from squirming too much. Tenie picked as much as the sap out of his fur as possible with the comb and then started rubbing the butter in. (An old trick you learn from living in northern Ontario). Unfortunately for her, she also had to rub the butter on Medley's "wee." She was quite mortified and kept exclaiming, "I have never done this before!" I found Ashley some of my old clothes that I didn't mind getting wet, or furry-an old giant T shirt that looked like a dress on her, and a pair of shorts that disappeared under the shirt. I nearly bust a gut. After the application of the butter was complete, we coaxed Medley into the bathroom where I lifted him into the tub. It's an old-fashioned tub with the claw feet on the bottom, so the sides were nice and high. Ashley blocked his head so he didn't get any ideas of escape and Tenie began hosing him down. (Thank God our shower head comes off). After she hosed his back end, I took the shower head from her and began watering down the front of him. Tenie rubbed huge dallops of shampoo into his fur and the butter wahsed out cleanly, taking the pine sap with it. (Yes, his "wee" was freed from its sticky imprisonment). We hadn't planned on giving him a complete bath, but Ashley figured we were already half way there, why not finish the job? While Tenie was leaning over him, Medley got the bright idea to "shake" and soaked her. I was in the kitchen at that time and heard slapping of ears and high pitched screaming-she was very wet and furry after that.
Medley was towelled off and I got the honour of taking him outside onto the back dec to get him to "shake." Christena instructed Ashley to hand over the leash and I would manage him outside. We, me and Ashley that is, were both confused as to why, but I just thought it was because he was huge and I could keep him from shaking all over the kitchen on our journey out the back door. Ashley figured it was because Christena didn't think she knew where the door was. We were both wrong. In fact, Christena thought Ashley was not wearing any pants because the T shirt hid the shorts. Ashley came outside anyway and danced around the deck trying to get Medley to shake. I am sure the neighbours were concerned. Here's a pantless girl dancing around singing in a very high voice "shake, shake Medley shake." Medley shook a few times and we got him back inside where he underwent some serious blow drying. He wasn't impressed, but it had to be done. (So, you probably know who the three bitches are and the bathtub, what about the lion)? Whenever Medley has just been bathed the Bermese in him makes him all fluffy and the fur around his face stands up like a mane. So, I call him my "lion face." And there you have it, our version of "The Lion, The Witch and The Bathtub." Moral of the story, make sure your dog, whether it is a guide dog or not, is not lying in pine sap. Oh and of course, make sure your friends are wearing pants.