My Girl Is A Flake: written by Glacier

Hi everyone!
Glacier here; again! Can you believe it? I got full control of this blog thingy for two whole days! I'm here today because, as my title states, my girl is a flake. No, really. Hers is. Let me tell ya bouts it and you can see fur yourself.
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A lot of people thinks that it's me, but really, it's my girl. Hers is always trying to do too many things at once and then bad things happen; flakey things. This is not a new thingy apparently. So, it can't be me.
Backs when my girl was but a wee thingy-I thinks hers was at this place called high school-hers went on a trip with hers choir. Hers and hers friend, my Aunt, was sharin' a room and my girl was gettin' dressed for the day. Hers was half asleep because, as always, had tried to do too many thingies at once and hers did not get enough sleep. Hers friend, my aunt, heard my girl throwin' stuffs around hers bottom bunk and mutterin' to hers self and my Aunt asks hers what's hers pawblem. My girl says that hers can't find hers socks. Hers had looked and looked, but they were nowhere to be found. No socks! Socks were needed for the day! My Aunt, being the bright girl hers is, hung over the edge of the bunk bed and told my girl that hers socks were in hers lap.
In hers lap! With all hers searching, hers didn't even notice hers socks sitting on her lap. Good thingies my aunt was there or else my girl would have cold feets!
My girl's socks are not the only victim of hers thinkings too much. When the Kyo came to lives with my girl and I, him was a bit of a difficult dog. I tried to tell my girl that we were fine, just the two of us, but hers kept sayin' that him just needed some training. The thingy that Kyo was the worst fur was rushing the door when it opened. We thinks it's because him thought people would leave him by hims self too much befores him came to live with us. One night, my girl prepared us fur "park" time. I always went out first because my girl said that I was there first and Kyo had to know that I was a special dog. Well, of course I'm a special dog...erm...ahem...
So, my girl takes me out and didn't even notice the 85 pound moose of a dog sneak past hers out into the night. Hers lost an 85 pound dog! How does one do that? It was probably close to twenty minutes befores hers realised her mistake and hers went runnin' down to see if Kyo was still around. Hers was worried because him was a rescued dog and hers thought him would run away, but Kyo was sitting on the front steps waitin' for hers to let him back in. Hers loses everything! Even 85 pound dogs!
Now, you see, such incidents are not a thingy of the past. Oh nonono. Like I saids, my girl tries to do way too  many thingies at once and hers is thinking bouts a million different thingies at once and then flakey stuffs happen. Take the other morning for example.
My girl likes the morning. Hers gets up early and hers routine goes: use the human park place, feed me and brother Roscoe, turn the coffee on whiles we eatin', gives us water and then we go to the dog parkin' spot. My girl was so distracted the other day with hers own thoughts that hers managed to takes us out in hers slippers. Yep. Down 43 stairs, out the front door, down the street and across the street. Hers didn't notice hers was wearin' the slippers until hers was half ways cross the road. When hers reached the other side, hers made me stand and  wait for the light again and then cross back over so hers could wear shoes to take me to park. How hers got outside and across the street in slippers I don't know. I tried to tell hers, but hers imagination was takin' hers away somewheres else.
There are so many ways that my girl is a flake and it all comes back to hers brain doing too many thinkings at once. Hers has run the coffee maker without filter or coffee; locked Roscoe and me out in the foyer because hers wasn't payin' attention and left us out there for almost an hour; hers was so deep in hers thinkings that when the mail person knocked on the door hers jumped so high, whacked her elbow off of the water filter thingy and broke the lid. No matter how long my girl  has been in the door, hers always loses her stuffs. Hers will put the gloves down hers has just been wearin' and then ask the Daddy wheres they went and it's only like twenty-six seconds later. I swears, hers would lose her head if it weren't attached, or worse! Hers would lose me! Then what would hers do? My girl wouldn't know where hers had left anything and hers wouldn't have me to guide hers down the road; a very unsafe combination.
So, do you see? my girl is a flake. Hers would be lost without me; quite literally. As my flakey girl's guide dog, I have to work twice as hard just to make sure hers remembers impawtant stuffs like where my treats are at. Fur reals; my girl is a flake!