A Much Happier Me

Today I am not feeling as overwhelmed as I was when I wrote that entry last night. I have pretty much finished the research for one of the papers that is due this week, so that helps. Also, one of my friends and I went to the dog park today. It was cold, but the sun was shining and it was just so refreshing to get out there and walk around. Jetta loved it too. She ran so fast and played with other dogs as well. We met so many different breeds of dogs too-it was pretty cool. There was even a little black lab puppy who was in training to be a service dog. I think I gave his foster mom hope that everything would turn out because she was worried that he had too much energy. I told her Jetta was almost seven and still crazy, so not to worry about energy levels. There are people out there who need high energy dogs as well as low energy ones. There were three Basset Hounds, a few labs of varying colour, a husky mix of sorts, a Rottweiler mix, a golden retriever mix pup, a bull dog pup and many many more. I couldn’t believe how busy the place actually was. Usually when Jetta and I have gone there aren’t many other dogs present, but I guess because the sun was finally out and it was Sunday there were more dogs and handlers there. I was impressed that Jetta decided to run with a few of them. Usually she just goes around mowing the grass, but today she was galloping this way and that and prancing around. She seems to be in a good mood now. And yes, my dog has moods. She is tired out though. She laid on the couch beside me after we got home while I read some more research articles. It was really good to just get out of the house, forget all of this essay stuff and bitch about silly insignificant things. I mean, we talked about important things as well, but it was relaxed and we had a few good laughs. She brought her black lab Raven as well and although he's almost nine, he made a good go of running about with the other dogs too. It's also nice to talk to her because she's in sociology with me and understands a lot of the stuff that I spew out. Most people are uncomfortable with some of my thought processes because they challenge normative assumption, but she's great because we can just rant away at each other and it makes sense. We hardly know one another and because of our Soc background, we're able to talk about a lot of things that most people would feel weird talking about. I mean we ranted away about vaginas! lol By the time we loaded the dogs up in the car, they were both worn out and a bit muddy, but extremely happy wuffers.
I gave her some of the Christmas cookies Brooke and I baked on Friday for the dogs. They are peanut butter and black current and the others are beef and garlic. The peanut butter ones are even in Christmas shapes like snowmen and Christmas trees. We had a good time. I hope her three boys-Midas, Wuggy and Raven (I may have spelled Wuggy wrong) -like them. :) They deserve Christmas treats too!
Anyway, all in all it was a lot of fun and I think it was good for Jetta to be able to do “dog” things instead of just working. I didn’t even bring her harness and I think that made her happy.

Jumbled Thoughts

I sit here in front of my keyboard with the urge to write stuff down, but I don't really know what to write down. It's just random scrambled craziness sloshing around in my head and I don't even know where to start. I'm not sure there is even anything to write about. There is not just one thing that has happened to me recently that I feel the need to go on about.
So, here it goes...whatever comes out I guess.
I feel restless-I think it's partially due to homesickness. It's that time of year where I am ready to go home. I want Christmas to be here. I want snow and Christmas trees and carols.
But, before any of that can happen-I have to write three papers...three poorly formulated papers I might add; present one huge presentation and go to s swim competition that I probably can't afford. We have these mandatory swim meets that we have to pay for out of own pockets, which was fine when I was federally funded, but I have lost that funding and I don't know where I am going to get the money from. The meet offers the opportunity to make the time standards to get that funding back, but that is huge pressure. I am frustrated because I have won my country 2 silver and 2 gold medals at the Para Pan-Am games in Brazil this summer and it wasn't enough to get the financial support I need.
I owe my roommates money because they have been buying groceries. If it weren't for them I'm not sure I would be able to eat.
Jetta seems to be slowing down-I think she sense my stress and plus it's winter, but I get frustrated with her faster. I don't mean to. It's not her fault that I am dealing with all of this crap from the swimming world. Sometimes I feel like she wants to retire. I think she is sick of going to the pool and to classes and nowhere else, but I don't have time or energy to go anywhere else. I try to take her for walks-just the two of us, but sometimes after a really hard practice I just don't have the energy.
The essays are scaring me because I have no motivation to write them at all. I just want this school year over so I can graduate and get out of here. I have had enough of sociology for now. It's a really heavy topic and after talking about the world's inevitable end gets tiresome after a while. The problem is these papers have to be done so I can actually graduate.
Back to the money thing-I have no money to get my parents Christmas presents. I know they don't expect anything, but I want to give them something. I love giving people presents. I love their reactions and I just think, not necessarily the price tag, but the thought I put into the gift make it more special. Maybe I'll have to be creative and come up with something.
And then there's next year. Will make the Paralympic team? Will I perform well at the Games if I do make the team? How will find a place to live in a new city when I am in China?
Not to mention, the head coach of Swim Canada's disabled swim team has finally said that he thinks that I am the same as the other completely male swimmer on the team. The man is an idiot. The other swimmer lives at home, gets driven to practice, has his dad tap and coach him, has his mom and dad take of his meals and other such things. I am here, paying my own rent, finding my own tappers/coaches, paying for everything on my own. It's no wonder I swim slower than he does. I have to expend more energy in more areas than he has to. It's disgusting! The head coach also thinks it's stupid that I got Jetta one year instead of going to a World championship. Um, hello! If it weren't for Jetta I wouldn't get to the pool now. I had to make a decision. It was a difficult decision, but I did what I thought would beneficial in the long term. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't try to get it. He makes assumptions and doesn’t' bother to get to know his athletes or care about what they have to say or how their lives are lived. We all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences. I come from a low socio-economic background, my parents don't have money to give to me for swimming. The other swimmer comes from a higher socio-economic background-his father is a doctor for fuck sakes! He has more resources at his disposal if he ever needed them.
I don’t' know what else to say. I can't find words strong enough to explain my anger and frustration at the coach. He is so ignorant an he has no excuse. He has been coaching the Swimmers' with a disability swim team for fat least four years now...a little more than that. He's never showed empathy toward me. he has never told me that I am a good swimmer-he just harps on what I do wrong all of the time. I'm sick of it. I have thought about quitting so often lately, but if I do then he wins...but then if I make the team and do well, he gets all of the credit and still wins. It's a huge game for him. He makes me so angry I become inarticulate. That pisses me off even more.
I think I am done now...I will go to bed now and try to sleep.

A Tasty treat

I just thought I would share...
There is a girl in my class, and I won't name her here because I have not asked her if I can name her, but she works at a pet store as well as going to school. She is a huge dog person just like me and she often comes over and brings treats for Jetta. There is a certain kind made by Natural Choice that Jetta has totally fallen in love with. I am going to put the URL up in this post and you can copy and paste it into your web browser and see if your wuffers enjoy it as much as Jetta. They are a wet food in a can, but they are a dessert-there is pumpkin crumble, carrot cake and such things. I try not to give them to Jetta all of the time of course, but every once in a while they are a good meal supplement or even just a treat.

http://www.nutroproducts.com/ncdogprod.shtml#treat

So happy searching and I hope your dogs will be just as excited as Jetta. :)

A Scary Trip

As everyone knows, Jetta will be turning seven in about a month. She is still a very high energy dog and loves to work and play just as much as when I first got her-she just listens a bit better now. But with old age comes strange growths on your older body and on Wednesday, I had to take Jetta to get two such weird bumps checked out.
They were both small, but as a concerned mommy I felt it necessary to make sure that there was not anything to worry about. So off to the vet we went.
Upon arriving, Jetta was weighed and I was informed that she weighs 51 pounds-two pounds lighter than when I first got her. I had been trying to get her to lose weight because somehow in the summer, she gained an extra six pounds and I wanted them off of her. The vet told me to up her food intake a bit since her weight loss program had worked and she was now almost too light. (My previous vet told me that I would not be able to get Jetta to lose the weight because she was middle age now and that I should place her on weight management food. Yeah screw that buddy. I managed to get her to lose the weight just by working her more and decreasing her food just a little bit. I am just not comfortable putting my working dog on diet food if it can be helped). The vet did a complete examination, as it was our first visit to this vet. She was very gentle and extremely thorough. She was not condescending at all and this particular vet charges half price for service dogs. The atmosphere was much friendlier than the other vet as well, so I was happy with my switch.
After taking Jetta's temperature, heart beat, and checking eyes and ears, the vet felt the bumps and said she would take a sample from each. The first, which was located just behind Jetta's left shoulder was a cyst and disappeared as soon as the vet squeezed it and drew fluid out of it. The second is on Jetta's right back leg. It is very small, but feels different from the first. The vet did an analysis of the contents she got from the needle and has come to the hesitant conclusion that it is just a cyst as well. She told me to watch it and make sure it doesn't get any bigger or that fur doesn't fall off of it, or that Jetta doesn't start biting at it. This particular lump has been on Jetta's leg since the middle of August, to my knowledge, and none of these symptoms have surfaced yet. The vet said this in itself is a positive sign. If it does become sore or bigger then I have to take Jetta in to get it removed and then it will be sent off to a pathologist for analysis. I'm pretty sure it's just a cyst thingy, but it's still scary to think that your girl may have something wrong with her. That said, it's been three days and there still have not been any changes and she's just as energetic as ever. She still walks very quickly when we're working so I don't think it's bothering her at all. Sometimes don't you wish your little guys could just talk? Then I would know if it was hurting or itching her. On a positive note, the vet was very impressed at the shape that I keep Jetta in and was very happy with her overall health, which is very nice to hear. :)
So here’s to your health little girl. 

Boo!

Yay. It’s finally here! It’s Halloween…but unfortunately I have night class tonight. I think I will miss most of the kids. So that kind of sucks. But Jetta will be going to class dressed up. She is a wizard and wore her costume to class this afternoon. Then we stopped by Accessible Learning where a few people gave her dog cookies. They were all thrilled that she came trick or treating. I must admit, it was pretty damn cute. I only made her wear her hat when people were giving her cookies though because otherwise, she probably would have been so mad at me that she would have walked me into walls. Lol
Anyway, I must get going-I have potatoes boiling on the stove to make mashed potatoes. I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Halloween!

"We did the Monster Mash"

Today is our annual Halloween party-well it happened last year and it is happening this year. This will be the last Halloween we all have together, so I think it's kind of special. We have about fifteen or so people coming and about seven dogs. Jetta was going to be a My Little Pony, but the coloured hair spray we bought beaded on her oily coat. Well, actually, her little friend Cessna tested it out and it beaded on her coat and barely showed up. So now they are both going to be wizards. Huib, Brooke's husband, made the two dogs capes out of some blue material that has silver stars on it. Then Brooke and I constructed hats out of left over material, ribbon, glue, duct tape, staples and dollar store party hats. They are sooooo cute! If I get pictures I'll have to put them up on my photobucket. Cessna's friend, Endora-a yellow lab-is going to be a witch. We made her hat the same as the other two girls' but hers has black felt and blue-silver dots made with fabric paint. Tenie also drew a huge spider on her black cape with the fabric paint. Brooke and Lynette-Endora's and Cessna's handlers-are going to be Christmas elves. So, Brooke and I had the tedious task of stringing the bells onto the ribbons that she had previously sewn on to the red shirts they will be wearing. It took us about 45 minutes to get just ten bells on each shirt.
Tenie, Carmen and I are going to be vampires...um, erm, pretty riske ones if you ask me, but it's Halloween. It will be fun. We've already painted our nails "blood red" last night. This morning I put a bunch of rubber gloves filled with water into the freezer. This way, we will have hand shaped ice cubes for the punch. Speaking of the punch, that still needs to be made. It will also be blood red" and we have to bake one of our friends a birthday cake. Her birthday was yesterday and so, we said our party could be a kind of birthday party for her as well.
I baked chocolate chip cookies on Thursday and Tenie picked up chips and a pumpkin on Wednesday. Most of the decorations are up-except the cob webbing that we will hang all over the house. Since our house is a century house-which I have mentioned numourous times before-it is the perfect place for a Halloween party.
We've asked people to bring munchies with them because we are students and really can't afford to feed everybody. So, one of my friends is bringing these amazing peanut butter marsh mellow squares. They are so good! He doesn't have a costume yet, so I think we should dress him with a sheet for a cape, a cloth napkin on his head, an apron around his waist and he can be Captain Linen. (See post about Jason's wedding. He was the same guy who we called Captain Underpants). It seems fitting.
I was a little worried at first that no one would come because it seemed everyone I invited, had already made other plans. But now, it seems we may actually have a very good turn out. carmen is a bit disappointed though because her brother said he was coming, but now decided he's not. She was pretty sad last night, so I bought her a bag of salt and vinegar chips she could have to herself. They're her favourite. :)
Anyway, I guess I should stop blabbing away and start getting other things ready-we still have to help Christena's cousin go get a costume, bake a cake, clean, finish decorating, make punch and get ready. I am sure something else will pop up in there that will need to get done.
So, the next time I am bac, perhaps I will have ghoulish tales for you.

Till the Fat Lady Sings

Today has been a bit of a laid back day for me. Yesterday I wrote a midterm that took three hours and the week before that I had been studying and preparing to other exams-so I figured that after practice I deserved bit of chill out time. So, I have not been productive-well, I did have a good practice this morning. That is besides the point. The point of my story is that I like to sing. I often don't do it because I live with two other people, but whenever I am in the mood and the house is empty, I will sing. Sometimes I crank up the stereo and sing along with a favourite artist or sometimes I just sing alone. And that is what I did today.
I was in the kitchen stirring milk and sugar into my coffee when the mood to sing suddenly struck me. No one was home, so I just started singing whatever came to mind. There was a mishmash of everything from Phantom of the Opera, Ani Defranco to Christmas carols. While I was belting it out, Sisu came into the kitchen rather disgruntled. She started meowing loudly at me. I stopped singing and her insistent meowing stopped. I started singing again and the meowing began. I've seen her do this before. A few years ago I took voice lessons for six months, but quit after I realised I could not balance school, swimming and music lessons. Whenever I was practising during those six months, Sisu would come into my room and weave in and out of my legs, rubbing herself against me and meowed. I learned to ignore it. There were even a few occasions when she hopped into my lap and pressed her mouth against mine. I'm not sure what it is about me singing, but it makes her crazy-she almost becomes carnal.
So, today when I was singing and she was meowing at me, it seemed like no big deal. But what shocked me was that Loki soon came in and started winding through my legs purring. I had never seen him react to my singing before, so I bent down to see what he was doing. That is how I found out he was purring. I laid my hand on him and he crouched low to the ground purring and staring up at me-all the while I kept singing. I began to sing in higher octaves to see if it made a difference and the cats went even crazier. Sisu ran in circles around me and kept putting her paws on my legs, trying to climb into my lap. I had my hand resting on the floor because I was balancing on my toes and needed the support. All of a sudden, after one particular loud meow, someone-and I say someone because I don't know who it was-bit me! They walked over and placed their teeth on the back of my hand and held it in their mouth until I said quite loudly, "hey, no biting!" Then they both sunk low to the ground and stared up at me. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen them do-ok, maybe not the strangest, but one of them. I scooped Sisu up off the floor and held her and she seemed to return to the cat that I know. The primalness had gone. She just leaned into me and insisted that I rub her ears. Neither of my cats have ever bit me. I don't know what it is about the singing that resonates with them, but when I sing they become "wild" cats. Even when I put CD's of certain artists on, Sisu circles the living room meowing. I don't know if they like it, or if they don't...but maybe they do because they don't run away and hide. My voice instructor once told me that singing creates noises that resonates in the cats' ears and makes them happy; especially the high ones. I believed her until my cat bit me today. lol Then again, it wasn't exactly like a bite-it was like they were holding me in their teeth. Maybe they thought I was a mouse making high pitched noises? Either way, I am locking myself in my room from now when I sing because apparently even my cats don't want to hear it. :)

Some People's Children

It's been a while since I have actually sat down and blogged about Jetta, but I am sure in the past I have complained of the ignorance of some people. Well, today's story is a prime example of some people's idiocy.
Yesterday Tenie, Carmen, me and Jetta all headed to Chapters. I wasn't going to buy anything, but there is a Starbucks in this Chapters and I brought along my class notes so I could sit and have coffee while studying. Plus, studying in the Starbucks should have less distractions than studying at home-no phone, television, MSN or internet. So, I bought my drink and settled down at a table to work while Tenie and Carmen traipsed off into the jungle of books.
While I was studying, a few people made comments about how cute Jetta was and how well behaved she was being. This is a normal occurrence and I just pretended to be absorbed in my notes, while silently praising Jetta for her good citizenship. Every once in a while I would reach down and rub her chin or shoulder to let her know she was being good. Her head was up and her eyes were moving around the coffee shop, watching all of the patrons and beyond them, all of the shoppers. But not once did she get up to visit anyone and not once did she make a noise. So, all of the praise poured on her by the other coffee drinkers was appropriate.
Tenie returned as I was reading through the last note with her purchasers and a hot chocolate. She and I started talking and I put away my binder so she could show me what she had bought. In the middle of the conversation a man ventured over to our table and began talking about how great Jetta was. Since this has happened numerous times before, I thought nothing of it and engaged him in conversation. Little did I know that he would flop to the floor saying apologetically "I know I shouldn't pet these dogs, but I can't help it. She is so cute." I was so stunned. This man was openly braking the "no pet rule." Now I have had people break this rule before, but I have never had them camp out on the floor with my dog. Of course, Jetta's wonderful behaviour then ceased to exist because this guy was practically rolling around with her.
He proceeded to yammer away about how he should not pet her, which I promptly responded, "yeah actually she has bad people distraction. I don't people touch her." He sort of laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess I'm one of those people who make her people distraction worse eh?" This made me furious. Did this man not know what he was doing? Did he not understand that he was violating my personal space, and tampering with my safety? This all sounds rather dramatic, but Jetta is my personal space and she is my safety. If people distract her, it puts us both in danger. So I said-without even realising it-"ah, yeah." MA little snarkier than I planned. Well, Mr. dog petter, then climbed up off the floor and left.
I was slightly stunned from my conversation to I asked Tenie if I had actually said "ah, yeah." Normally, I am more articulate than that and explain in a calm voice why people should not be touching my dog, but I think I was so flabbergasted at his ignorance, that articulation failed me and I became an inarticulate bitch.
It never ceases to amaze me how rude and ignorant people can be. What gives them the right to go around touching my dog? She is not just a dog people! She is my eyes-she serves a function. You don't see me going around taking your glasses off your face and smearing my fingerprints all over them now do you? I didn't think so.
Tenie told me that she gave him a look to kill and although I don't like being rude like that, maybe it needed to happen. Maybe it's time I stop being miss nice guy and tell people where to go. I don't th9ink they comprehend that when they distract Jetta it could lead to us walking into oncoming traffic or stepping down a hole or something. It's just not safe.
So, to anyone who may read this, please don't touch service animals unless their handler tells you it is ok. I don't care what you think or what self of entitlement you may have...HANDS OFF!!!!!!

A leafy ramble

So it seems that fall has finally decided to arrive. The weather has been so confused lately that it's actually kind of scary. Just two days ago it was 30 degrees C and that is not normal for October at all! But today as I made my way to the pool at 6:30, I actually had to wear a jacket and socks with running shoes. By the time Jetta and I arrived at the pool, my fingers were stiff from the cold, but I am not complaining. I like the fall. So does Jetta.
I think it is one of my favourite seasons-although I am sure I say that about every season when it first starts. Fall is just a great time of year because it's cool enough to walk places without sweating one's ass off and not wade through thigh high snow drifts. I think Jetta likes it too because she doesn't over heat and she doesn't have to wear her winter boots. (She hates those things)!
The air also smells so much cleaner. I doubt it actually is, but it's crisper and fills the lungs without suffocating the breather. I also love listening to Jetta's little paws crunching through the leaves. It is the cutest noise. Sometimes it makes me laugh out loud when she trots through a particularly deep pile of leaves. It sounds like she is swishing the leaves out of her way as she walks. Since I can't see her movements, the noise of her trampling down the leaves also gives me an insight to the way she walks. It's a simple pleasure that not many people could appreciate. Most people can see their animals motions, band probably don't even realise how interesting those movements are to others who normally can't see them.
Fall also means Halloween, which is one of my favourite celebrations. I think I have said before that our house is a century house and that it is the perfect building to decorate for Halloween. We're having our Halloween party this year of course and that is exciting.
I've also learned to appreciate the taste of pumpkin now that I am older and pumpkins are in higher surplus in fall than any other time of the year. We made pumpkin pie for our Thanksgiving supper and it was sooooooo tasty! We always get pumpkins for Halloween too and carve them. So, I guess that is another reason to appreciate fall.
I'm sure by the end of November I'll be wanting winter to arrive, but as of right now, I am satisfied with scuttling dried leaves and fresh, crisp air-oh and pumpkins too. :)

Untitled Confusion

Why is it when you are 12 you think that everything is so simple? You can conquer all and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. You can own your own corporation; have as many kids as you want; as many puppies as you want; tell your parents that their opinion of your partner doesn’t matter; dance on the moon; swing from a star; dream of changing the world one day. Why is it at 24 that you are not able to be naïve and life is not as simple? Things like love become very complicated and it does matter what other people will say or do. You are more aware of the fact that others could get hurt and that some people will disapprove. At 12, what others think is not such a big deal. Perhaps because at 12, one is not really looking for a life partner-no matter what your little girl imagination may think. At 24 there are things to worry about like geography, money, and again making sure no innocent bystanders get hurt. How is it that something that is supposed to be so wonderful becomes so political? The university education that you get also complicates things-it makes you aware of the little problems that could arise. Why is it that I can no longer look at something and see its simplicity and beauty? Why must I analyse it-pick it apart until I drive myself mad? Questions and thoughts jumble together in your head, invading your dreams when you sleep and circling through your brain when you are supposed to be focusing on something else. Emotions dance in and out of the corners of your mind like flickering flames…you are never really sure what you feel. Happy? Excited? Confused? Wary? Maybe all of these at the same time? When you are 12 happiness and excitement would be the dominant emotion-wariness comes with experience. Yet, underneath all of the confusion is a sense of rightfulness you just can’t explain…