Guide Dog Training Day 3: Settling In

It's kind of funny how old habits really do die hard. Yesterday morning was my first morning with Paula and the first thing I went to do upon the alarm going off was to take her out and then get her breakfast. I had to stop myself because her relieve time wasn't for another hour and she is currently eating only once a day. I've been running dogs out even before I use the toilet in the mornings for years and it was weird not having to rush for the dog's leash and my shoes. On that note, we had a successful morning bathroom break and I was happy when Paula left me a present to pick up. Knowing that your dog's bodily functions are working properly is usually a good indicator that they are starting to settle in.
After morning bathroom break and human breakfast, we headed for our make shift lounge to have a small discussion on dog body language. It was interesting and was a repeat of a lot of stuff I already knew, but only because it's something that interests me and I've researched it to death. We talked about dog communication with each other and with humans and covered the debunked theory of Alpha dog training. I was glad we covered this.
After our discussion it was house obedience time. Our trainer took us one at a time and we wandered the hotel,practising "sit" at closed doors, lying calmly at tables and then we covered an obedience routine. The routine consisted of us standing in a wide hallway and putting the dog through a series of "sit," down," "stay," all mixed in with us walking around and away from the dog. We even hid from the dog, telling her to stay. I think Paula did well considering strange people kept walking by her and it was our first morning together. She did get up at one point towards the end of the routine, probably because she was bored, but went back into her "sit" no problem and finished the routine cleanly. The bell she wears on her play collar really helps me know if she is moving and where she's moving to. We also practised this routine outside with the trainer also guiding us in order to practice loose leash heeling. It was blowing and snowing at that point so we kept it short, but Paula did very well.
Lunch was tasty as always and everyone behaved nicely. We weren't sure if we'd be able to do our first harness walk yesterday because the weather was atrocious, but we braved the rain/snow/wind and completed our first official harness walk.
The other student went first so Paula and I were left to our own devices for about an hour. The nice thing about training this way means you get to wait in your hotel room instead of in a bus or training building. There will be days where it will be easier for the trainer to take us both at the same time and we'll have to wait in the van, but it's not an every day thing.
I took Paula out before the walk and she did her business then we loaded her into the back of the van which has ben outfitted with dog crates. She promptly began chewing on a smoked bone and seemed happy. I told the trainer that we weren't going to be able to get her out of there because she liked that bone so much. We drove a very short distance and got Paula out and geared up. This is also different from my experiences as we always traveled in mini buses and your dog would lie at your feet. I was impressed with Paula's self control as I reached into the back of the van and fastened her working collar/leash back on and waited for me to call her out. I put the harness on which she ducked away from at first. The trainer told me she used to do that with him, but eventually stopped. We both figured that if she didn't stop that we'd start using kibble to lure her through the opening and eventually she would stop ducking away. Just something to keep an eye on.
Our walk was incredibly wet and cold, in typical Scotland fashion, but it was fantastic. I had a hard time keeping up to my little bullet because I was wearing Wellies and my feet felt clumsy, but she was very responsive to me asking her to slow down. My other dogs' cue for slowing down was "steady," but Paula's is something that has completely slipped my mind right now. She worked very well despite the weather conditions and was very good when I reminded her to "straight on" when she was being too nosy and peaking into people's gardens that we past. There were a few curbs she refused to move up to when we were nearing the van, probably because she knew we were getting close to a dry place, but we reworked her up to those curbs and made sure she sat and waited for me to tell her to turn. She found the van no problem and waited patiently for me to take her gear off and get her up in the van again. It was a short walk, but it was very satisfying. The trainer obviously walked along behind my shoulder, but he let us do the work and wasn't attached to us in any way. My first few walks with Jetta the trainer had a leash clipped to her harness, but since then I've been free to fly solo.
Upon arriving back at the hotel we toweled off and sat down to have another short discussion. To be honest, I can't quite remember what it was about because we all went off on tangents about guide dog owners being responsible for picking up their dogs' poop. After that the other student and I sat around chatting and then it was feeding time for the dogs. It was our first meal on our owns and I was very proud of Paula. She went to and stayed in her bed until I blew the whistle then came charging over to me and gobbled down her food. Then it was human feeding time again.
We spent the rest of the evening just sitting in the bistro and I pretty much collapsed into bed after taking Paula out for the final time. She did both and I was satisfied with that. I did deal with some whining yesterday from time to time, mostly when the trainer walked us back to our room, but it was minimal in comparison to the day before. She also seemed to settle a lot more after our short but speedy harness work. I think working is so exciting for her that she associates the trainer with working and therefore is incredibly attached to him. We will be doing more harness work today and I really hope it will help solidify that I'm fun and exciting in her mind.
Last night she took a minute to settle again. She whined a bit and stood at the front door. When I called her name to get her back to her bed she galloped over to my bed an leaped on top of me where she continued to tap dance despite my "offs." Eventually, I managed to pull myself out and point at the floor and say "off." She promptly hopped off and got into her own bed. She slept soundly after that. So soundly, in fact, I had to poke her in the middle of the night because she woe me up with her very loud snoring. She may give Otis a run for his money in the snoring department.
I think it was a good second day and I definitely see potential here. I do recognise that I need to watch the pitch of my voice though because if I am too happy or excited when I ask her to do things she either doesn't do it or gets way too excited and rushes. This goes for both obedience and harness work. Otherwise, I am very happy.
PS: Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Guide Dog Training Day 2: Paula Arrives

Yesterday was the day that our dogs arrived. The morning started early with a good breakfast, some lessons in "house obedience" and foot positioning for harness work and after lunch the beasties arrived.
House obedience consisted of teaching us how to work with our dogs through doors and proper behavior in public spaces. We worked on telling the dogs to sit when entering and exiting doors and having them tuck in for meals. Foot positions were taught outside in the tennis court and is important when working with your dog in harness.
There are two positions so obviously named position 1 and position 2. Position 1 is the stance you take when your dog has stopped at a curb. You are standing at their shoulder. Position 2 is the stance you take when about to set off. You put your right foot back, leaving your left foot closest to the dog's shoulder to prevent the dog turning its body across yours. This basically guarantees no sniffing and hopefully a straight line of travel. We practised other foot positions that are necessary when turning at corners Etc. This was all new for me as I've never had to do a lot of foot work before. The reasoning, to me, is sound for the foot positions and so I don't mind doing them.
We were issued our equipment which consisted of grooming tools (Zoom Groom, slicker brush and comb), harness, working half check collar, bell (to know where your dog is), whistle (for recall and feeding), leash, Kong and Nylabone. The whistle was new to me as well as the concept of a "working" and "play" collar.
My previous dogs only had one collar which they wore all of the time. I bought my own bells to put on them so I knew where they were during free runs. So although that is new with regards to a guide dog organisation providing them, it wasn't a foreign concept to me. As for the whistle I actually think it's a great idea.
When feeding your dog you are to place your dog in a down stay somewhere in the room. You then put their food between your feet and blow the whistle, indicating to them that they can eat. The whistle is also used during free runs for recall. By using this technique during meals, you are reinforcing recall as the dog knows that the whistle means food at their handler's feet. It was pretty cute when I blew the whistle last night and Paula came running from her bed and dove into her food bowl at my feet.
We had a great lunch of soup and sandwiches and I tried Scotch Broth for the first time. It is not what I expected. To me broth is a thin liquid so I assumed the soup would be a thin liquid void of anything chunky. Scotch broth is the farthest thing from "broth." It is quite hardy and I was incredibly full.
After lunch our trainer went off to collect our dogs from their borders' houses. This is new for me  as my previous dogs were in kennels on site. Most of this organisation has their dogs in training living in people's homes to make the transition from training to a working dog as easy as possible. The other student said I could get my dog first because it was my first UK dog. I thought that was sweet.
Around 2.40 a knock came on my door and I opened it to admit the trainer and a very excited Paula. Her name is Paula, but it may change to Nala some time in the future. I went and sat in my chair and Paula leaped on to the bed, tail wagging. She got a sharp reprimand for this and she was quickly back on the floor with all four paws. She tried a repeat performance once the trainer left, but a sharp "no" had her springing to the floor in no time. She's a cheeky little, or not so little, thing.
The trainer left us alone for about 25 minutes so we could get to know each other. Paula spent much of that time standing by the front door crying. I've never had a dog react this way and it was almost harder than when Jetta stood staring at the door for an hour without moving. I sat patiently with her though and only pet her when she stopped whining. Every once in a while she would tap my face with her nose and eventually she lay down by my legs and rolled over for a brief belly rub. It was these short breaks from the whining that told me that we could make this work.
When she finally settled, the trainer returned to take us for a short stroll around the hotel to do house obedience for real. That went well and I was very impressed with her responsiveness. She had to be reminded to "wait" quite a bit as she likes to rush a bit, but her enthusiasm is infectious.
We had another short lecture on feeding and at some point we relieved the dogs. The day was sort of a blur and I just know that every time the trainer left us Paula would resume her crying. It got to the point where she would at least be interested in her bone when we got back inside our room, but even today she cries when he leaves us.
We took our dogs to dinner with us which sometimes doesn't happen on the first day. Both were very well behaved. Paula also relieved both times I took her out which is a relief since sometimes dogs won't go for someone new. She refused to poop until this morning, but pee was what we were worried about.
Paula was born on May 28, 2011, the same day Mr. K and I had our wedding. She weighs a wapping 30 kilograms and eats more than the male Labradoodle. She's also heavier than he is which is probably normal since the Poodle in him would make him lighter.
I was a bit concerned about bed time as she seemed to be having troubles settling. We had our last relief, or spend as they call it here, time around 9, but the other dog didn't go out until 9.30. That meant when she heard the trainer in the hall, it was another while before she settled down again. That is another difference between the two programs I have been through.
Previously, all dogs went out at the same time and also on a particular schedule. Since there are only two of us, we can decide what times to take our dogs out at. I think there are pros and cons to both, but in a bigger class like the ones I attended before, simultaneous relief times are probably the best way to go. With just having two of us we can tailor the times to our own schedules. There is some uniformity in the mornings and around bed time, but we don't go out at the same time. It also allows the dogs to do their business without being distracted by the other dog.
Also, in my previous guide dog training experiences, we used "tie downs" when we didn't have our dogs with us. Not to mention, dogs were always on leash, glued to your side. It was said to help with the bonding process and also to keep them from doing bad things. Here, the dogs do not stay on leash once in our rooms and do not have a tie down area. That means they are free to roam when you are gone or when you are sleeping. I was a bit worried about this at first, but once Paula fell asleep last night, she was out-no tie down needed. The other student said her dog got up to have a good sniff around at some point last night, but eventually got back in his bed. I think the tie downs prevent such things, but at the same time, doing it this way gives the dogs more responsibility and begins the trust bond early. I think since the dogs come to us from homes, this approach is appropriate whereas the dogs coming straight from training kennels may initially need that structure.
I think it was a very successful first day. The whining was a bit difficult to deal with at first, but we're working through it. I had planned to write all of yesterday's events out last night before bed, but it was a good but exhausting day and I just fell into bed and slept soundly; once Paula settled of course. Today, thus far, has been another eventful day. So, come back later or perhaps tomorrow for another update. :)

A Little More About my Girl

Am I that predictable? Those of you who guessed, guessed right. :)
You are right. My new dog is a Golden Retriever Labrador cross. Apparently, according to one of the trainers, these dogs are used nearly twice as more as any of the other breeds. Flat Coated Retrievers, German Shepherd Dogs, Labradors and Golden Retrievers are also used, but a few years ago the Golden/Lab crosses were used about 45 percent of the time. They've also started using Golden Retriever German Shepherd Dog crosses with some success, but I think this is in the beginning stages. I had hoped for one of these, but since I've already waited six months, I am quite happy with my Golden/Lab cross.
So, what else can I tell you about her?
It's actually hard because I really don't know much. I keep forgetting to ask her age, but we've estimated somewhere between 18 and 20 months. I'll have that confirmed next week. I'm not entirely sure how much she weighs, but surprisingly she's almost as big as Roscoe. That was slightly shocking for me since the majority of dogs I see here, males and females, aren't nearly as big as Glacier or Roscoe. Sure, there are some exceptions like this giant of a German Shepherd named Flint that we see out on our walks, but on a whole, the dogs are smaller. So, when I got to check her out, I was pleasantly surprised at her size. She's definitely bigger than Jetta. The trainer described her as medium sized and I would say that is pretty accurate.
She's yellow of course, having been bred from two very yellow breeds. She's got kind of highlighting like a Golden Retriever would, but isn't nearly as light as Glacier. To me, she feels like a crossed dog, but to just the average person, she would just look like a Labrador. She's just a bit thicker and her fur a wee bit longer, but she's definitely not feathery like a Golden. At some point during training, I'll attempt to post a picture. The problem is that with blogger's new interface posting photos/links/everything else that is not a regular post is nearly impossible.
Other than her name, that is all I really know. I know she likes to work and is a bit excitable, but very easy to re-focus. Apparently she alert barks at doorbells, so I'll have to stay on her about that. She seems to be quite playful and personable which is nice as well.
So, what about her name?
Well, about that.
I'm in the process of seeing if I can change it for a multitude of reasons; the most important being that I have a family member with the same name. It's weird just thinking of her with this name, I can't imagine what it would be like to work with her with it. It's just not a dog name. So, until I get that all sorted, I'll keep that to myself for now. However, I'll tell you the two names I was thinking of switching it to and you guys can either guess what her name really is or tell me which one you like better. That or you can do both. :)
Her potential names are:
Nala (from the Lion King)
and
Petra (which means rock and is also the capital of Jordan).
Can you guess which one I chose?

Explanation of the Evil Stick

Having been matched with my potential new guide dog, the excitement of being rid of the white cane is rising. If I'm being totally honest, I don't really use it as much as I should and thus my independence has suffered quite a bit since Glacier's retirement. Well, my independence sort of suffered a bit even when he was working because I was nervous to go out and work with him, but I was definitely getting out on my own more than I am now. Is my aversion to the white cane a good thing? Of course not and I know my new guide dog trainer was slightly horrified when I told him I was terrible with it and have hardly used it since being matched with Jetta in 2002, but I was just being honest. Not to mention, even though I don't use the cane, I am pretty comfortable in areas that I am familiar with and could give a sighted person directions if necessary. It's not the directions that confuse me or walking a straight line. It's not even the strange feeling like I'm floating out in space when using the cane. It's just that the cane is so slow and I get it stuck in everything. I've had this discussion with quite a few people, Mr. K being one of them, and he assures me it's because I'm using it wrong. I believe him.
When Mr. K takes the cane out he hardly ever hits objects and despite it gut checking him because the sidewalk is uneven, he really doesn't have the problems with it that I do. There's probably a myriad of factors that contribute to his success as a cane user and I am not, one of them being that I just hate the thing and can't seem to bring myself to learn to use it properly. I thought that when Glacier retired I'd get lessons and become at least an average cane user instead of a less than horrible cane user, but the instructors are so over booked that I couldn't even get on the waiting list. So, I remained horrible. The funny thing is I can get around better without the cane than with it. For example, I can walk Hermione and Otis both down to the relieving area without the cane just fine, but if I take the cane I run in to everything and get caught on the pavement. Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly ambitious and I know the cycling trail is going to be quiet, I walk the dogs-off leash-without the cane. I can walk a fairly straight line and just check the edge of the grass with my foot every once in a while to make sure I'm still along the side. If I didn't have to worry about strange objects and other pedestrians blocking my path, I could probably walk the streets without a cane, but put one in my hand and I'm all over the place. I don't know if it's because I'm deaf in the ear on the side  that I carry the cane and it makes me unbalanced or what it is, but I run into everything. Maybe it's entirely in my head. That is very possible.
When I attended a school for the blind for three years, I spent the last two years there running about the campus caneless. I used pavement/floor changes, the sounds of buildings and so many other cues to know where to go. Once you've been in a particular place long enough your body also becomes accustomed to turning at certain spots. The fancy technical term for it is "time distance estimation." I used it the other day when showing the guide dog trainer where I'd be relieving my new dog.
It was the day I told him that my cane skills were terrible. We walked from my flat, him guiding me, and me telling him where to turn or where to go straight. When we approached the relieving area I told him to turn right. He asked me how I knew that was the spot and I explained that the ground changed as well as my time distance estimation being honed for that area since I walk the dogs there multiple times a day. I don't really know how to explain time distance estimation, but it is probably the equivalent of a sighted person walking from their bedroom to the bathroom in the middle of the night and not turning on a light. You know how to get to the toilet without falling down the stairs or taking a wrong turn. Your body just takes you there. However, if someone leaves a toy in the middle of the hall or a door ajar that normally isn't open, you trip over the toy or run into the door. These things get in the way of your time distance estimation. I think this is where the cane and I start clashing.
Because my cane wielding skills aren't great and I therefore get caught on cracks in the sidewalk, garbage bins, poles and whatever else may be sort of in my path, my time distance estimation gets interrupted. When I walk with a guide dog, that isn't disrupted. Ideally, we move smoothly and a particular speed is maintained. These fluid and uninterrupted movements allow me to feel more confident in my time distance estimation. I think that is why walking around without a cane on the cycling path and down to the dogs' relieving spot is more comfortable for me. I can just get there without the constant jolting and extra arm movement that the cane use requires. The only problem with this, or perhaps not the only problem but one of the greater ones, is that people don't know I can't see.
I can't tell you how long it took for people who I see regularly on the cycling path to realise I was blind. Some of them I told just to reduce some of the confusion and others eventually saw me using the white cane on longer walks with the dogs or walking sighted guide with a friend. My lack of identifier is problematic though in the instances when I don't see a person on a regular basis and I accidentally step into their path instead of moving out of it as intended. Once, I accidentally body checked someone in to a railing that runs along the top of the cycling trail because we both went the same direction. I think if I had had a cane at least they would have known to be more aware of which way I was going and then if I had still managed to body check them into the railing, they'd understand that I wasn't just a jerk.
So really, is the cane an evil stick?
Certainly not.
It functions well for a lot of blind people who have mastered the skill of walking with it.
Would it have made my life easier in the last six months if I had had lessons and learned to use it competently?
Of course.
And yet, knowing all of this, I chose only to use it when absolutely necessary and then only in very, very familiar areas. To me, it is still the evil stick and I will always prefer a guide dog over it. That is why I can't wait until I go into training with my new dog.
However, I have learned something in these last six months.
1. I can get better with the cane if I actually try. The first times I took it out on the trail with the dogs off leash, I hardly went anywhere because of how often it got stuck. I really don't have that problem anymore.
2. I really should learn to use it. No more explanation needed. I will just need an incredibly patient teacher.
That said, bring on the guide dog training class.

Happy Days!

I got the call. Wednesday afternoon my cell phone rang and on the other end was one of the Guide Dogs trainers letting me know that they had a potential match for me. He wanted to meet up Friday to see if the dog and I would work well together. He said that we were perfect on paper, but that was just paper. The trainer that I've been working with up until now had gone to see the dog and told this trainer to call me. That in and of itself was encouraging. So, we agreed to meet Friday for a walk and a chat.
Friday afternoon came much too slowly in my opinion. I was very excited Thursday night and didn't sleep well. The trainer picked me up just after 1 and drove me out to the area that the dog's been training in. We chatted on the drive about the process ahead and the sorts of things that happened during training if we got there. At the training area, the trainer unloaded the dog from the back of the van and put the harness on. He explained that we'd be walking along both quiet and busy streets and that he'd have an extenda leash clipped to the dog just in case I needed him. I still was incredibly nervous. I was so worried that things wouldn't work out and I'd have to keep waiting. I was also worried that I'd decide that we were a good match and be wrong just because I didn't want to wait anymore. I had told myself the night before to try to be aware of anything I might not like and to mention them. I wasn't going to go down the same path as I had taken with Glacier. I had noticed things in training and had mentioned them to his trainer, but was brushed off. I was determined not to be brushed off again.
The first part of the walk took us along side a park. The dog was very focused and despite other dogs running off leash in the park, the dog kept us moving forward. Little reminders to "straight on" helped, but the dog was very easy to re-direct and re-focus. "Straight on" was a new cue for me, so I had to keep reminding myself to say the right cue. Leader Dogs uses just "straight" and so sometimes I'd almost forget the "on" part. At the first curb we came to, we hung a right and began walking along a busy street. My left arm/hand was very tense and the trainer asked me if I was okay. I told him that it was a bit scary since I hadn't done this in a while. I made a conscious decision to relax. I knew that the dog would be able to pick up on my uncertainty and nervousness which would make the dog uncomfortable.
The trainer warned me of a bus stop that was coming up. There was also a pole in the proximity of the bus stop that required the dog to navigate me carefully through. We approached the bus stop and I could hear people waiting for the bus and just as we walked up the bus arrived. I was a bit concerned about getting through the crowd, but the dog moved cleanly through, leaning towards the bus door as if to say, "in here?" A "straight on" was all that was needed to keep us moving forward.
The walk carried on from there with many obstacles for us to work around. It was garbage day and so there were a lot of bins/bags/boxes out on the curb that we had to avoid. Not to mention, your every day pedestrian traffic, other dogs, birds and at one point the sea. Along the section where the sea was on our left, I had to keep reminding the dog "straight on" and gave the dog one small collar correction when the temptation of the sea was just too much, but again, re-directing the dog was so easy. There was no heavy corrections needed, no harsh tones either. The dog seemed to respond well to calm, quiet cues and this is how I like to work. I also didn't have to play cheerleader the whole time we were walking.
When Glacier and I used to go out, I'd have to praise him the whole time and keep talking to him or he'd lose confidence and stop working. Thankfully, this dog doesn't need that. Jett had needed harsher tones to keep her focused; not agressive ones, just a sharper tone to "leave it" or "straight." Anything less and she didn't pay attention to me. Again, none of that was necessary.
We moved between parked cars, around a van blocking the entire sidewalk and past three dogs without incident. To be honest, I didn't even know we past the dogs until after the walk and I asked if there had been any dog distractions besides the ones in the park. Suffice it to say, I was very impressed.
I also learned a few more new cues and some new body positioning. The body positioning is very particular when you're crossing streets with regards to your foot position as well as when you need to go down a side street and the dog is in the way of turning that way. The trainer had to keep on me about relaxing my arm and remind me about foot positions at crossings, but none of those issues were with the dog itself. My biggest fault was the tense arm and I had difficulty remembering to slide my right foot behind the left before telling the dog to "forward," but that will all come with practice.
 The trainer has even trained the dog to "find the pole" at particular crossings. I'm so glad he's done this because it means that it is a transferrable skill to other areas/objects. When the dog is told to "find the pole" the dog walks up to the pole and touches it with its nose.
When our amazing walk came to an end, the trainer asked me what I thought. I told him I was blown away at how easily the dog listened to cues and at how responsive the dog was. It was also very obvious that the dog loved working and that was a relief to me. The trainer had warned me that this particular dog liked to anticipate and sometimes would rush because of this, but that wasn't really hard to deal with. I just had to remind the dog to "wait" at curbs sometimes and only twice I had to bring the dog back into a "sit." I like that the dogs here are taught "wait." It was something I later taught Jetta and Glacier, but it's nice that it comes built in already with these dogs. :)
The sitting at the curbs was something I had to get used to, but to be honest, I think that it was beneficial. Before now I didn't think having your guide dog sit at curbs was a good idea and perhaps in most cases it's not, but for the way I work and the way this dog works, it's a good thing. It keeps the dog from rushing and makes me feel more relaxed at crossings. I feel like I can take my time deciding if it's safe to cross.
We talked a bit more about how the walk felt and then the trainer told me that he had unclipped the extenda leash in the last half of the route. I had had my suspicions because he'd leaned forward once and then was walking in a different position than before, but I was too busy paying attention to the dog and trying to read the dog's body language that I hardly gave it any thought. Knowing that he felt comfortable enough to let us fly solo, so to speak, made me feel so much pride in our work. It also made me hopeful that this dog was the one.
I brought the dog into the heel position at the back of the van and the dog sat. Then the trainer instructed me to remove her collar and with it, the leash. The van door was opened and the dog was told to "wait." After a few seconds the dog was told that it was all right to get in. I can't quite remember what the wording was because my head was buzzing with a million questions and replays of the walk, but it was something like "in you get" or something like that.
The humans then hopped in the van to get warmed up and the trainer asked me if I liked the dog. Of course I said yes. He asked me if I liked working with the dog and of course I said yes again. Then he asked me if I wanted to go into training with the dog. I laughed and said, "yes please." He laughed too and said that he thought we were a good match and that he wanted us to train together. So, it was decided that I'd probably go into training some time at the end of February if everything went as planned.
The trainer took me to meet the volunteer that the dog is staying with during this phase of training. This too is different than most North American schools as the dogs usually stay in kennels during harness training. Here, the dogs stay with a volunteer family so that the dogs live in an environment that is as real as possible. After that, we headed over to the hotel where we will be staying during our training together. This is also different from most North American schools as well.
When I got Jetta and Glacier, I stayed in a very large, purpose built residence building on the campus of the guide dog school. In Scotland, they use hotels. This particular hotel is very nice and all of the staff that I met were very friendly and seemed helpful. I definitely won't mind staying in that hotel for two and a half weeks.
After the hotel tour it was back home we went. We made plans to meet again on Wednesday to have the dog meet my crazy family of Hermione, Otis and Roscoe. We'll also show the dog the flat and then we're going to discuss routes that I would take on a regular basis. The idea behind that is to teach the dog as many of the routes that we will be taking as possible. I'm so lucky to be training locally so that the trainer can start early on our routes. It should make the transition for both of us a lot easier when we come home after our two and a half weeks of training at the hotel. Once we return home, the training will continue for another week or so with us living at home. I think this is so that the trainer can help with any settling in issues as well as go over local routes.
So, the point of this gigantic rambling blog post is that there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. I have met and liked my potential new guide dog. I have to wait a month while the trainer works on polishing skills with the dog, but from what I saw on Friday, I'm going to be a very lucky woman come end of February. I'm not going to share any of the dog's details just yet as I'm not sure that I'm supposed to. Besides, I don't want to jinx it. :) Maybe after our meeting Wednesday I'll be able to tell you more.

My Strange and Wonderful Spaniel

I have owned a few different breeds of dogs in my life, but up until now, never a Spaniel. In fact, until we moved to Edinburgh I had never even "seen" a Spaniel. Since I have to pet dogs to be able to see them, I am sure this is why I had never seen a Spaniel before. Where I grew up, people had big dogs-German Shepherds, Labradors, Collies and mixes of these medium to large breeds. So, I didn't exactly know what I was getting myself into when we picked a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel as our newest family member back in February of this year. Everything I read said that they were the calmest of the Spaniel family and the perfect lap dog. I haven't owned another type of Spaniel, but my condolences go out to those dog owners. ;)
How do you ever get to sit down? If I had a tail, Hermione would have me chasing it from the time she wakes up in the morning until we go to bed at night. (I say that as she naps on the couch beside me. I may be exaggerating a bit, but just a bit). :)
 To be honest, I'd never have another breed; unless I could have a Great Dane, or a Mastiff, or a Husky or...okay...you get the point.  I love her, but she is undoubtedly a nut.
You never know what Hermione Sophia will do next. She holds perfect points at unsuspecting prey with no training; she death shakes her toys and sounds like an evil Wolverine who weighs only 5 kilograms; she jumps as high as my hip or higher even though her head hardly clears half way up my calf; and so much more. We met her mom, but part of me wonders if her dad had been a Cocker Spaniel instead because of her hunting tendencies, but the breeders assured us she was a purebred. Honestly, who cares. She's one of the coolest little dogs I've met and I'm not saying that because she's mine.
I know she can be a bit much for some people, but in  her defense she's still a puppy and her training is coming along quite nicely. In fact, Mr. K and I have thrown around the idea of putting her into agility; note the comment above about how high she can jump.
Of course she has her holy terror moments where I want to pull out my hair; note previous comment about death shaking/wolverining everything. Not to mention, she must have been a paper shredder in her previous life because she will destroy any paper she comes across. And, it's not like she just comes across it and destroys. Oh no! She seeks paper to shred into little bits, turning our couch or living room floor into a shredded paper graveyard. Despite her crazy antics, she can be super sweet and she always manages to surprise you.
Most dogs aren't huge fans of grooming. Glacier used to try to make himself really small if he saw me coming with the Zoom groom; not easy for a 35 kilogram Labrador. Jetta just used to run as fast as she could; and that was fast. Roscoe pretends he's not there, but I always find him. Otis hasn't figured out how he feels about it yet. Most will tolerate it, but most don't enjoy it. Not Hermione. She loves being combed. All I have to do is pick up the comb, she hops in my lap and she stretches out to be combed. Her ears in particular are her favourite. How weird is that? If I start combing those beautiful feathery ears of hers, she goes to sleep and she won't wake up or move until I have stopped combing.
Do you see what I mean when I say she's strange?
She chases anything that moves, stalks paper victims and death shakes her fleece tug toy until it slaps her in the head violently, but get out the grooming comb and she settles in for the long haul. Mr. K thinks it's because she likes to be pretty. I'm sure he's right. She is the princes after all.

Happy Birthday Jetta!

I know I've been very absent from the blogging world as of late. I'm in the last few weeks of this semester and that means a lot of essay writing. This then means when I'm done writing for the day, I don't want to be near the computer or writing anymore. However, I could not let today pass without wishing a very special girl a happy birthday.
Jetta, my first Leader Dog, is 12 years young today. She's happily retired with my parents now, as most of you know, but not a day goes by without me thinking about her. There's something to say for having your first harness walk with your first guide dog. She certainly surpassed all of my expectations.
During your first walk, the trainer is usually connected to the dog's harness via their own leash. I remember thinking how much I couldn't wait until my trainer unhooked his leash and Jetta and I were truly walking together. I was certainly scared, but it was such an amazing experience.
Jetta and I sure had our ups and downs the first year, but after mistakes, mostly on my part, we became a well oiled working machine. It probably all started when I tried to put her harness on for the first time, and despite having practised on a huge plush dog, I couldn't get the thing on right. Knowing Jetta she was probably thinking:
"Ooooooo. They gave me the dumb one. How can I f*** with her?"
Happy birthday Jetta the Jitter Bug!!!!!!!!!

Six Hundred and Counting!

That's right.
Nearly seven years since I started this blog and this is my six hundredth post. It's kind of amazing to think that I have managed to spew my verbal diarrhea out into the electronic world of the internet for this long. Seriously, who reads this stuff?! :)
It's also interesting to see how my writing style has changed. It's gone from "crazy, angry, advocacy" girl, to "more crazy, more productive, slightly more eloquent, still rants about certain issues" girl. Life is full of so many surprises.
I had started this blog to chronicle the adventures my first Leader dog Jetta and I had together. The blog has seen a few name changes going from "Jess and Jetta's Adventures" to "At A Glacial Pace" in honour of my second Leader dog Glacier. After his retirement this past July, I thought that perhaps it was time the blog had its own name, one that reflected me, but could also incorporate my successor guide dogs; whoever they may be. Hence, "Walking Barefoot in the Sand" replaced the previous titles. It's a long story as to where that name came from and maybe I'll tell it some day, but today, on my six hundredth post, I have some potentially exciting news that I think it quite fitting for a six hundredth post on a blog about a girl moving through life guided by a four legged companion.
In my previous post I talked about how a potential dog had been found to replace Glacier, but that he had been scratched off the list because he had skin allergies. After thinking about it for a few nights and talking to Mr. K about it, I emailed my trainer and expressed my certainty that I could deal with a food allergy. In fact, Roscoe has had food allergies in the past and I had forgotten about them because the allergies have been managed so well with diet. I also told the trainer that if it were an environmental allergy, such as being allergic to grass, that I was not prepared or equipped to deal with that type of allergy in a working dog. A pet sure, but not a guide dog. I then went on to say that I respected and trusted his judgment and was in no way attempting to convince him to train this particular dog for me. I just wanted him to be aware of where I stood.
A response came back this morning simply stating, "training started."
I'm not entirely sure what that means. Did he bring that dog into training or did the trainer himself go into class with other clients? I think it's the first so I have my fingers crossed.
There are other stages that the dog must pass in order for us to be matched permanently, such as us meeting and me actually liking the dog or he liking me, but at least this is a start. I'm trying not to get too excited just in case things don't work out, be it his allergies or we just aren't a good match, but it feels good knowing that something is happening. I am not just sitting around waiting. Well, I guess I still am, but  judging by my interpretation of the email this morning, things are progressing and progress is always good.
So, there you have it: the six hundredth time I've hit "create new post," wrote something potentially interesting or potentially not and hit "publish post."
Thank you everyone for reading! :)

All Quiet on the Halloween Front

Happy Halloween all!
It's that time of year again when little ghosties and witches roam the streets, knocking on doors and shouting:
"trick or treat!"
I've always loved Halloween and still do, but this year Halloween is going to be a fairly low key event at the Mr. and Mrs. K homestead.
To be honest, Halloween sort of snuck up on me this year. Usually I've thought of my costume months in advanced, but with my MSc program starting mid September, my brain has been mostly filled with research methods, coping/stress/control and so much more. Sometimes I feel like I hardly have time for my poor puppy dogs, or even for poor Mr. K, for that matter. I also have been focusing on Christmas since my parents are coming to visit and that will be the first time I've seen them in over a year and a half.
I have always enjoyed getting my dogs dressed up too. Some would disagree with that, and that is fine, but I don't have kids and never will. Thus, I need someone to dress up.
Jetta probably got the brunt of it with her having to be a ballerina princess (she ate the crown and peed on the shoes), my evil minion (she wore huge, black bat wings and I was a vampire), a Lost Boy (I was Tinkerbell of course) and a  wizard (her friend Cessna from Ruled by Paws got to share in that joy that year as we made their costumes for them). We really wanted to make them "My Little Ponies" that year, but couldn't quite figure that one out. So, wizards it was.
Glacier was a bit luckier with only having to be the donkey from Winnie the Poo twice. Aria was a lobster and Kyo was an athlete.
This year Hermione, Otis and Roscoe have managed to side step the costumes. We really don't have anywhere to go with them dressed up and so what's really the point? However, I think Otis would have made the cutest pumpkin with his gigantic puppy belly and squat little French Bulldog stature. Hermione most certainly would have had to be a princess because, well, she is a princess. And Roscoe? He probably wouldn't have tolerated it so well. So, perhaps a Halloween themed bandanna would have done for him. That is, of course, if we were actually dressing them up.
Halloween doesn't seem to be quite as a big deal here as in North America and so perhaps that is part of how it snuck up on me.
That's not to say we haven't done, or won't do, a few Halloweenish things.
First of all, I had a "ghost" cookie at the cafe this morning after I spent an hour and a half with my class instructor going over inferential statistics for my exam tomorrow. The cookie was quite cleverly made and was quite tasty.
Everyone needs a 3D ghost cookie after that much Stats.
Mr. K and I are also going to carve a pumpkin tonight. We've always carved pumpkins together; last year being the exception. One year he carved a scene from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" into the pumpkin. Quite impressive if you ask me. So there's a bit of our Halloween tradition. We can't do much tonight anyway with me having to write this crazy exam tomorrow.
 Originally, I had asked people over for a pumpkin carving party last night, but since my idea was last minute, no one was able to come. Again, probably for the better: it gave me more time to study.
So that is about it. It's going to be a quiet Halloween this year, but that's okay. There's always next year.

Furrifid!

This weekend was a fun filled one with many fuzzy creatures about. Of course there were our three-Roscoe, Hermione and Otis-but we had a fourth furry butt taking up a spot on the couch.
Glacier came to visit.
Well, of course his people came too, but we got him all to ourselves Saturday evening while they attended a wedding reception. We honestly didn't do much in the evening, except watch a few TV shows, while all of the dogs were passed out on the couches. Earlier in the afternoon, before Glacier's people had to get beautified, the four humans and four pooches piled into Glacier's new Dad's car and we went on a drive, touring part of the Scottish country side. Scotland really is a very pretty country.
We drove past fields, moors and up and down gigantic hills. We stopped at a castle and even got to watch the sun set over the landscape. We stopped at a beach, where the tide was out, and the dogs got to run around. L had her "Wellies" on and splashed in the shallows with Roscoe and Glacier. Hermione isn't much of a water dog and so she spent her time digging in the hard packed sand for treasures. Perhaps we should have named her "Indiana" or "Jones." ;) She's grown into quite the little lady, with some definite 'tude. If I didn't know better I'd say that she was getting some online lessons from Jetta. That said, she's a lot of fun and she is probably one of the best dogs I've ever had off leash. Her latest skill is learning to move to the side of the cycling path when cyclists come flying at tops speeds either towards or from behind us. She is catching on quite quickly.
Otis got to tour around too, but was on an extenda leash because French Bulldogs can't swim. In fact, it is very easy for them to drown in very shallow water because of the way their bodies are designed. So, since he is quite small and because we didn't want to risk it, he puttered around on the 15 foot leash. I think he enjoyed himself despite having to be tethered. It's amazing how much the little dude has grown in such a short amount of time. He's gone from this little, squat puppy who had barely any legs to a little guy who actually looks like a dog. He isn't exactly big or anything because he is only three and a half months old, but he certainly has changed a  lot since bwe brought him home. His body is actually bigger than his head now.
Sunday morning we had a leisurely stroll along the bike path, allowing all four dogs to have some leash free time. It really was a gorgeous morning and it also meant that Glacier got some of his "beans out" before having to hop in the car to go back home, which is a four hour drive.
I think Roscoe was the happiest to have Glacier back for a while. Before Glacier even arrived if you mentioned his name, Roscoe started hopping around and wagging his tail like mad. Both big dogs spent a lot of time running together and getting each other into trouble. Roscoe's alert barking decreased a lot as well. I think having Glacier around as back up makes Roscoe feel more secure. I really hope my new guide dog comes along soon not only for me, but also for Roscoe. I think he needs another big dog in the mix since that is what he's used to. Either that or we're going to ship him off to live with Mr. G. (Just kidding).
Even though we have three dogs, the flat has seemed quiet minus the Yellow Fellow. He did leave us enough white fur to make a scarf/hat/mitten set, or maybe even a throw blanket, to remind us he was here. It is so good to see him so happy and completely devoted to his new people. Before he retired I felt like his spirit had gone or that the light had gone out of his eyes, but it's definitely back. Re-homing him with his new people was the best decision I could have made for him.
It was a great couple of days full of sunshine and fur.

She's Still Got It: Jetta the Jitter Bug

It's been just over four years since Jetta my first guide dog retired. She basically retired herself in typical Jetta fashion and moved into a squishy retirement with my parents. I can't believe she's going to be twelve this December.
When I called home the other day Mom and I got to talking and just as we were about to get off the phone she said, "Oh, I almost forgot."
She proceeded to tell me that my dad, being the goofy guy he is, had decided to wrap two "thank you" gifts my parents had bought for family members in Christmas wrap. He finished off the roll and stood chatting to my mom in the kitchen just holding on to the roll; presumably to put it in the recycling. Suddenly, the roll started bouncing around in his hand and he looked down to see Jetta pulling the tube out of his hand. He let her have it and off she went to shred it into little bits in the living room.
This story had me in stitches as it is definitely something Jetta would do. Actually, it really had me laughing because it used to be one of mine and Jetta's Christmas traditions for me to (pretend) attack her with the empty tubes (lightly) whacking her on the head and poking her in the butt; kind of like we were jousting. Well, I guess I was jousting, she was just trying to eat the thing. Not necessarily "by the books" guide dog/handler behavior, but I guess you learn what you can do with your dogs and what you can't. It's good to know that the old girl still remembers and that she's still got her characteristic spunk despite being a senior citizen.
Oh, Jetta. :)

Deep Thoughts

I was lying in bed last night contemplating the complexities of life while my tummy roiled like an unleashed Edinburgh wind storm and I got to thinking: what do people without dogs do with their time?!
(I told you I was having earth shattering thoughts).
I can't remember a time in my life without a dog and since being matched with Jetta in July of 2002, I've certainly had dog stuff that needed to be done.
Growing up, I had a   Yellow Lab named Sasha, a great big guy who was my best friend. I did some things for him, like feeding and letting out, but me being only six when we got him, I didn't realise the commitment and time dedication having a dog  really is. Now, I have three of my own and they definitely keep me busy, even when I should be lying in bed trying to get better.
Every morning Hermione wakes me up between six and seven to go out. We used to go and have my breakfast and coffee, but as of late we both go back to bed. She's the one who breaks open the bedroom door and won't get under the covers in her spot until I come back to bed too. One morning, just before I started feeling the full effects of this weird flu thing, I contemplated staying up, but Hermione made such pathetic noises that I followed her back to bed
Between nine and ten is when she wakes up again, whacking Mr. K with her paws and draping herself across his neck to give him kisses. I'm not sure why she wakes him up because I'm always the one who gets up to feed them and take them out again, but every morning, never fails, she does her "good morning Daddy" dance. After that, it's doggie breakfast and water, out again and, when I'm not feeling like my intestines are going to implode, we go for a walk or for a coffee at the cafe.
From there on, my schedule differs depending on the day and the need for homework, house cleaning or perhaps a social outing, but no matter what goes on the dogs are always taken care of first. Whether it's going for a long off leash walk to make Hermione tired so I can study or puppies safely tucked in their crates with peanut butter Kongs so we can go out, our lives definitely revolve around these little, crazy fuzz balls. I think at this particular moment more than ever because both Hermione and Otis are young and Otis needs potty training and Hermione needs potty training reinforcement.
What do non-dog owning people do when they leave the house? Just grab their keys and go? How are their mornings spent without a fuzzy companion to go walking with or play a game of fetch with? Coffee in the morning just isn't coffee in the morning without a fuzzy body of some shape and size or another resting in my lap. (Roscoe size included).
At guide dog school we are taught about keeping your dog on a schedule with regards to feeding, watering and bathroom breaks. I think this mindset has been so ingrained into my psyche that if I didn't have a dog around for  a few days, I'd be completely lost. In fact, it was weird once Glacier moved out and there were only-and I use the word "only" loosely-two dogs in the house.
My coat pockets and purse are infested with pooh bags, treats and extra leashes/collars. What do non-dog people carry around with them with those gigantic purses?
 Our living room is littered with Nyla bones, Kongs, some form of a squeak toy or another and so many other toys. Our cupboards have been taken over by bowls, dog food and the treats I've made. What does non-dog people's living spaces look like? Probably way less furrier than mine and their furniture is probably nicer; minus the muddy paw prints we didn't quite catch when someone ran in with wet paws.
We have harnesses and leashes hanging on the back of our front door for easy reach. I'm not sure what I'd hang there if we didn't have dogs. Coats?
Perhaps I bring dog owning/loving to a new level, I mean, I do bake them their own treats and am always on the hunt for a new healthy recipe to try, but I'm not sure I'd have it any other way. Then again, I'm not sure I'd know how to have it any other way. :)

Guide Dog Replacement Update

It has just been over one month since I retired Glacier and it is finally today that I've been put on the waiting list. Originally, I had been under the impression that I was put on the waiting list to get a new guide dog as soon as Glacier retired, but I was quite wrong. So, the three months to a year of waiting starts today. As I am sure you are all aware, this does not make me very happy. However, a guide dog trainer-the one we've been dealing with since we moved here-assessed me today and although I do not feel much better about the very long wait, I am feeling much better about the process.
The application process for this particular guide dog school is much different than that of Leader Dogs for the Blind, the school where I got both of my previous guide dogs. I think, in a way, each program has its pros and cons, but that in the long run, I will benefit greatly from the Guide Dog Organisation's approach. Sure, I have to wait much longer, but the success of the match is much higher.
When I applied for my previous guides, I did not spend any time with the trainers before hand. The interview process wasn't very vigorous either; with me just having to have a videotaped walk to get Jetta and not even having to do that to get Glacier. All the trainers had to go on was the answers I had filled out on an  application that didn't even address lifestyle, what sort of worker I needed Etc.
My assessment today was much more in-depth and that made me feel more confident in getting a good match. Also, having been involved with the trainer for a year instills confidence.
We chatted for almost two hours about my lifestyle, what characteristics I'd like in a dog, if I preferred girl/boy or breed of dog and many other important things that I think will make this matching process so much better.
We did an empty harness walk, which is similar to the "Juno" walk you do the second day you arrive at LDB. This walk is used to determine voice inflection and walking speed. This particular walk was also used to determine my ability to follow directional changes, posture, stride and my preference for how strongly the dog pulls on the harness.
We covered some other important aspects of a working dog suited to me, such as, willingness to work, adaptability and a few other characteristics. We discussed the various environments I would be taking my dog into and whether or not I ever left my dog at home. We even talked about what sorts of transportation I would take on a regular basis. Again, it all made me feel excited and confident about deciding to go with the UK organisation instead of flying back to North America.
The trainer reiterated that he couldn't guarantee a time frame, but that he'd rather me go two months more without a dog, struggling to get around, than get a dog quickly and spend the next four to eight years struggling with my working relationship. I've already been there done that. I do not want to do that again. I had to agree with him. He also said that he wanted to give me a dog that was brilliant when I got him/her, but was that much better at our six month check-up because I worked with the dog. I took this as a compliment and ensured him that he wouldn't be disappointed.
So now that all of the paperwork is done, all I can do is start my waiting game over again; a game I thought I had started a month ago. Sometimes there are necessary evils in life and waiting for the right working partner is just one of those. It stinks being reliant on others because my cane skills are so terrible, but once I meet and am matched with my new dog, it will be all worth it.

The Evil Stick

Glacier has been officially retired for ten days now and although I wasn't working him much before his retirement, I had not been out with a white cane in nearly ten years. Up until now, I haven't had the need to go anywhere that would require me to venture out on my own, or perhaps more accurately, I avoided things that required me to venture out on my own, but Sunday morning I was scheduled to go for a run with a local running group and I didn't want to start missing practices just because I was terrified to leave my flat without a dog or sighted guide.
So, I mentally steeled myself as I left my flat, giving myself a pep talk and convincing myself that this was a necessary evil. I reminded myself that this was the first walk without a dog I'd done on my own in a very long time and that there was a lot of room for improvement. Knowing that I can always improve upon something is very encouraging to me and so I gritted my teeth and stepped out my front door; wanting very badly to turn around, go back inside and text my guide runner to say that I wasn't coming.
Two things kept my feet moving though: 1. Finding guide runners has been extremely difficult. If I start blowing them off, especially in this early stage, it is highly possible they will think I'm not serious/interested and will move on.
and
2. fear has never stopped me from doing anything before, why should it now?
For those people who are not optically challenged, I'm not sure how to explain the difference between working with a dog and a cane. For those of you who have used either one of the other or both, you may be able to relate. But for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me try to clarify a bit.
Guide dogs are impressive creatures who, at the end of the day, are still dogs. It is important to know that I do not say to my dog, "dog, go to the store" or "dog, take me to the gym." That is not how things work. If I am setting out, I need to know where I'm going in order to give the dog cues where to turn, which streets to cross and what doors to find. The dogs do the work of making sure I avoid obstacles, line up straight with curbs and get me across the street from one curb to another. In using a dog for the last ten years, I have lost some of the skill of walking directly from one curb to another without drifting one direction or another and this is where my mistake came from.
I set out at a slow pace, thinking that if I hurried I would be more likely to make mistakes. I also left with a lot of time to spare to account for any mistakes and for my much slower pace. As I walked along my street, my confidence began to rise and I started to relax a bit. I began to talk myself into the fact that I could definitely do this; I had to do this.
As I neared the end of my street, I quickly realised that something was wrong. The traffic noise was in the wrong spot and I could hear cars driving over cobble stones. Somehow, somewhere I had drifted down a side street. If I had gone where I should have, there would be no cobble stones and the cars' noise should have been coming from my right. I began to feel the first  flutters of panic begin to rise in my stomach. I took a few deep breaths and turned back around. If worst came to worst, I'd just have to back track. The problem was, at that particular moment, I didn't know where I had gone wrong. As I turned myself around, an older gentleman approached me and asked if I needed help. I must have looked completely freaked out because as I explained where I needed to go, he said he'd just walk me to that crossing. As he guided me along, we began to chat and I explained that this was my first walk without my guide dog. A sudden and surprising throat tightening made me stop as I felt the tears well up.
I missed Glacier. I missed working with a dog who wanted to work. I was more terrified than I had allowed myself to believe.
The gentleman got me to the crossing and I let him chat on, trying to calm my frayed nerves. I was closer to home than to the gym, maybe I should just go home?
My stubborn pride would not let me and the thought of potentially losing a guide runner. It was to be our first run together and I didn't want her thinking I was flakey.
He joked that his wife would think he had run off as he guided me across one more crossing. He teased me that I should have picked a route that was just a straight line and his good natured humour released some of the tension I was feeling. I thanked him and promised him that I would be fine from there on in. My voice sounded confident, but I didn't believe myself. At least he did and he went back the way he had come, ensuring that I was facing the right direction first.
I carried on, making one crossing easily, but completely freezing at the second. There are tactile bumps at the corners to indicate where to cross and for some reason, I had it in my head that they were shaped like a square and I was looking for the central spot in order to align myself with the curb across the street. I quickly found out that they are more cone shaped and until I figured that out, I felt the panic returning. I stood for what felt like an eternity on one corner debating if I was supposed to cross there or not. I even thought about going home, but there was just as much likelihood that I'd get lost on the way home as there was if I finished my journey. So, I went forward.
I crossed a few more streets, but because I was so frazzled I forgot to count the streets and ended up passing the entrance to the gym. I walked a bit past it and found a wide open area. It was possible that I had passed that open area with the dog and not known it, but my commonsense told me that it may be  the parking lot for the gym. So, back I went and was relieved to find I had made  the right decision as I walked down the sidewalk to the gym's entrance.
Eventually, I found the gym door and went in to find my guide waiting for me. I was just so relieved to have finally arrived that I could have just sat down and not gone on the run at all. I checked the time as we passed through the security gate and was shocked to discover that it had taken me a half an hour to walk to a place that should have taken less than fifteen minutes. Good thing I had given myself the extra time: at least I had made it in time to go for the run after all.
The physical activity of pushing myself over the 5 kilometre distance helped to unwind my nerves, but upon returning to the gym, I began to get worried about the trip home. I know I'm not helping myself at all and I'm sure things will get easier, but independent travel  with a cane is absolute torture for me: it is terrifying. I give props to those blind and low vision people out there who choose the cane over the dog. Of course each mode of transportation has its pros and cons, but for me personally, the cane is definitely not what I would choose.
Luckily for me, my guide runner offered to walk me home and to continue to do so until a dog can be found for me. I really appreciate her help and I will probably take her up on it, but at the same time, I also need to get used to using a cane and I also need to get better at it. Starting at the end of September I am going to have to navigate a university campus on my own with a cane and the quicker I get over my fears, the better off I will be when the time comes to go back to school. That said, my instinct is to light the cane on fire and throw it as far away from me as possible. Judging on how I did on Sunday, I might be better off without it. Then again, I'd then risk ploughing into obstacles, people and traffic.
So for now, I suppose I must accept my fate and somehow conquer the evil stick.

The Waiting Game

It's been about four days since Glacier moved out. He took a few of his favourite toys with him and since then has been given some pretty cool new ones. One of his new favourites is a plush frog with a squeaky tennis ball inside.  From all accounts, Glacier is one happy guy and that makes this whole ordeal so much easier. Of course I miss him and our home is just that much more quieter minus the big Yellow Fellow, but the updates I've received are fantastic.
Glacier is having a great time going to the beach and digging in the sand. His new Dad even buried a bag with a treat in it for him to dig up; something he obviously could not do as a working dog. He's been to his local pub and has figured out quite quickly that the pub owner is the "biscuit lady." In the mornings, the door is left open so he can wander in and out of the house to the garden and he has been going into the office with his new dad. He even went toy shopping at lunch yesterday and played a game of "Monkey in the Middle" to help him to learn how to fetch. Things could not be better for Mr. G and I couldn't be happier. He is getting everything he deserves that I would not have been able to give him.
So, where does that leave me?
Well, life's not dull, that's for sure. It never is. My long distance running training is starting to come together, which if you're interested, you can find updates on my other blog.  Hermione keeps me busy, of course, and Hamish has improved his escape artist skills. Not to mention, we also got Hamish a wife named Lola. She is a Lionhead Lop and is absolutely gorgeous. The two are currently residing in separate cages because we do not want any little escape artists running about. Hamish is scheduled for neutering on Monday and then the two can move in together.
Roscoe is doing well, but he definitely is missing Glacier. He looks for him whenever people come over and once when I let him off leash to have a run, he took off into the forest to who knows where; probably looking for Glacier. He's a bit more clingy than normal and certainly seems a little out of sorts. However, having Hermione to play with has helped I think and we've tried to keep him busy with working and off leash runs. We were concerned that Glacier's departure would impact Roscoe's working, but everything seems to be okay for now.
As for me and getting around, I'm honestly going a bit stir crazy. For the most part, I have to rely on others-Tenie and Mr. K mostly-to get me around and I hate it. I hate asking them to take me and I hate having to fit my schedule to everyone else's; which only seems polite since they are doing me a favor. I have used a dog for ten years and it feels so very strange not having one with me. I have a White cane on order so that I can start getting myself around with that, but I am not a confident cane traveler and that makes me a bit nervous. I'll have to get over that quickly though because I have absolutely no idea when a new dog will be found for me.
Unlike most North American guide dog programs-not all, but most-the guide dog organisation in the UK does not bring a client in for training until a match is found for that person. In some of the North American programs, you arrive at the campus with the instructors only knowing what you've written on your application about yourself and match a dog to you as best they can from the string of dogs they have already trained. Here, that is not the case.
When I contacted my guide dog representative to ask if he had an average estimated waiting time, he basically told me that there wasn't one. He said that I would be brought in  once a dog was found and that based on my high standard of handling skills, the process would not be rushed. He wants to ensure I get a dog I can work with for a very long time. I very much appreciate his dedication to his job, but I wish I had some sort of idea. Am I going to be waiting for a month? Two months? A year?
I'm starting university in the fall and not having a dog to work with on campus makes me very nervous. Will I  go through my entire university year guide dogless?
I don't mind waiting. In fact, I prefer that this is a solid match and that I don't have to go through the same struggles I had with Glacier and even with Jetta, but having absolutely no clue how long it will be is difficult.
I guess now all I can do is wait and hope that the right dog comes up sooner than later, or that I get better at using a cane very quickly. Otherwise, who knows how long I will be reliant on others to get to where I want to go. This last option definitely does not work for me. So, with fingers crossed, I settle in to play the waiting game and to also get better at using a cane.

Mr. G and His Great Move

So, it's official: Mr. G will be moving in to another home. I have spoken with the guide dog organisation and they have strongly suggested that I re-home him in order to give my new working relationship the best chance to succeed. It took me a while to accept this option. I had actually seriously contemplated going back to being a White Cane user, but I have worked with dogs for nearly ten years now and going back to a cane just makes me cringe. However, I was willing to do it so that Glacier could stay with us.
The only thing is that, since Glacier is so young, I'd be using a cane for at least another six or seven years. I'm not entirely sure I could do it for that long. With being completely blind and deaf in one ear a guide dog acts as an extra safety net for me when out traveling. So, with my safety in mind and Glacier's bet interest, I have decided to re-home him.
Fortunately, he will be moving in with a friend That means, we'll get to see him and also get regular updates. Glacier and Roscoe can also have play dates. I am going to miss him like crazy of course, but I think it's the best for everyone.
Glacier has always wanted to be an only dog I think and he'll be the centre of attention where he's going. My friend is able to take Glacier to work quite often and he works outside, so Glacier will get to romp freely. Also, my friend is excited to take Glacier to pubs, leash free runs in the surrounding woods and he has a fenced in backyard. It really is ideal.
I've also seen the two interact and they seem to be best buds already
In the mean time, Glacier is retired, but I am waiting for a new dog and going crazy. Glacier definitely doesn't want to work anymore and putting the harness on him is just dangerous and, to me, slightly cruel. He tries to sniff everything and everyone and doesn't seem to know how to walk in a straight line any longer. He'd much rather be
racing around  and being a goof than guiding me. I still work him every morning on the cycling path outside our flat, but for the most part, he's become a pet. He's spending tonight and last night at Tenie's flat for another sleep over. He seems quite contented there; going for walks in the park and lying on the couch watching TV with the girls.
So, although it's been a very difficult decision, I'm actually very excited for Glacier to move in with our friend. I know he'll have a lot of adventures in front of him and ones that he will be able to enjoy.

Where We're At

The last couple of days have been slightly difficult; a bit of an emotional roller coaster really. One minute I'm good with the decision I've made and another I want to take it back, but I know it's for the best. He's the same old inconsistent Glacier and so, I know it is what we both need. He's such a cuddle bug, all curled up next to me right now and I am going to miss him terribly. We've thrown around a few options for where he will go, including keeping him, but staying with us has definitely been crossed off the list.
I had originally thought that if I got a group of guide runners together, that he could be my running buddy. He could stay home with Hermione when we went out and she wouldn't feel left out and alone.  I had also thought that I'd get him back into Rally Obedience and enroll him as a therapy dog. All great ideas except that with me going back to school, Mr. K in school, getting a new working dog, I don't think Glacier would get the attention he needs and deserves. He really needs to go to a home where he is the centre of attention and he can be doted on. That's all he really wants, I think. So, unfortunately, staying with us has been scratched off the list. I say that, but there will be times between now and getting the new dog where I will try to work it out in my head how we can keep him even though I know that is not a realistic or responsible choice.
I've had a few friends offer to take him and it's something I'm seriously considering. If he went to live with this friend, he'd be close and we'd get to see him. Plus, get very regular updates. He'd also be able to have play dates with Roscoe, which I think both boys would really like. In the last week or so, Roscoe and Hermione have really started bonding and that makes me think that Roscoe will be a bit better off with Glacier leaving than he would have been. However, it'd be great if the two boys could still see  one another and play.
The guide Dog  rep that came to visit said that he would help us find a home for him and that perhaps Glacier could be a companion dog for a child with a intellectual disability. I think he'd be great at being a companion dog and would love it. So, if my friend doesn't work out, I would be okay with this option. Apparently you can request that you stay in contact with the new  owners and that he stays in the area where you are living. I think I will do this because I am just not okay with completely letting him go without me knowing where he is and how he's doing. Obviously, I won't interfere with his bonding to his new family or let our relationship interfere with my new dog,  but knowing how much I still miss Jetta tells me that letting him go without any contact would drive me insane.
So, really, am I okay? For the most part. I have my moments where I need to cry or run 4 kilometres on the treadmill to get my frustrations out, but every time we work somewhere, I know I'm making the right decision. It is so obvious he'd rather be off exploring and adventuring instead of getting me from point A to point B and I'm glad that I just finally know that now. He's a great dog and I am going to miss his little quirks so much, but again, making the right decision for everyone usually isn't the easiest or the most ideal. I am just going to take it a day at a time and enjoy the time that we have left to work together.
Thank you to everyone for their encouraging comments. You guys have made this so much easier, knowing that I have support all around the world. It's kind of incredible don't you think?

Tough Decisions

I wasn't really sure I was ready to write about this. I thought that maybe I'd leave it over the weekend, but sharing seems to make it more real and also seems to help me grieve in a sort of way.
I have decided to retire Glacier.
There, I said it.
After years of struggling, going back for retraining, adjusting my handling practices and my in home behaviors, I have come to the conclusion that Glacier would rather be a pet. This decision was made so much harder because when he felt like working, he was spot on and excited about his work, but when he didn't feel like working, he was not good. The inconsistencies confused me for so long that I just kept working him.
I would look at walks that we had where he did great and try to replicate that in other walks, but no matter what I did, he always surprised me. I usually didn't know which Glacier I was getting until half way through our adventure out. He's always been firing on about 60 percent, and after retraining or if we were going somewhere new and exciting, he'd run on about 80 percent, but it never lasted. We've always had problems, right from day one, but I loved him so much that I wanted to give him every opportunity, but after he walked out into three intersections last week, I had enough. His laid back attitude about things was putting both of us in danger.
There is so much I want to say about him, but don't really know how or what to say. The guide dog rep summed it up yesterday when he said that somewhere deep in Glacier's psyche, he just wants to be a goofy guy with no responsibilities. Lately, the happiest I've seen him is when he's out just being a dog, rolling in the grass or running on the beach, or even just heeling by my side like a pet; with no responsibilities. He doesn't "smile" when we get ready to go out, I think it is a drudgery for him.
I feel horrible; like I failed him somehow. I couldn't be what he needed to be a successful guide dog. The guide dog rep made me feel a bit better by saying to Mr. K that I'm such a good handler that I make Glacier look better than he is, but I still feel as though I failed him.
What i really want, is to keep him and give him the retirement he wants and deserves. I want him to be a dog and I want to be the one who gives him that, but I don't think we can keep him. I really, really want to and after retiring Jetta, I had sworn that I wouldn't give up another retired dog, but I'm not sure we are equipped to keep him right now. However, I have some time yet as I will work him until the Guide Dog Association finds me a match and so who knows what will happen in that time. I've had a few friends say they would like him and if that means he gets to stay close and still play with Roscoe on occasion, then maybe we'll do that.
Whatever happens in the next few months, I am trying to grieve for our working relationship now, so that when my new partner comes along, I'll be ready to give that relationship all it deserves. For now, I will keep on as I am and hope that we can find some way for Glacier to stay with us or at least close by. I have learned so much from him and hope that I have given back to him half of what he has given to me. I don't think he should have ever been placed as a guide dog, perhaps a wheelchair assistance or Autism assistance, but definitely not a guide dog; there is just way too much responsibility involved in being someone else's eyes for him. He's such a beautiful dog, inside and out-I know, how cliche-that it is going to be so hard to let him go.
Anyway, it seems as though I am just stringing together disjointed thoughts, so I will leave it at that for now.

Ten Years and Counting

They say that dogs come into our lives for a reason. I don't know who "they" are, but "they" are right. That statement couldn't be more true on this date ten years ago. It's just amazing to me how quickly those years have passed. Another phrase that contains a strong thread of truth is: "where has the time gone?", or "time flies when you're having fun." Time certainly has flown.
Ten years ago today I was matched with my first guide dog, Jetta. Jetta entered my life the way she attacked her job and every challenge put in front of her: paws flying, tail wagging and skittering past me as if her butt was on fire. She was my little ball of black fury and at the age of 11 and a half, she hasn't changed much. Sure, she's faster to climb back on the couch these days, but take her out to a river to run and she takes off like a shot.
Jetta has been happily retired since 2008. Her working career was only six years, but they were adventure filled years and I can't blame her for wanting a change of scenery. She traveled everywhere with me and for every hour I put in on the pool deck, she did too. Sometimes at early morning practices, when it was just me and my coach, Jetta was allowed to roam free. She would race up and down the deck, keeping just ahead of me so that she could lick my face when I stopped at the end to take a breather. There were some competitions that lasted ten days and there was one meet in Denmark where we spent 17 hours straight on the pool side. Jetta took it all in stride and did her best to be patient.
I think she was a  real asset to the team and even the staff took joy in having her around. Our massage therapist was a huge dog fan and would always keep Jetta when I was racing or just needed to take a nap and Jetta had energy to burn, which happened more often than not.
 Attending practices and swim competitions were not her only adventures. She went whale watching, riding in a peddle boat, camping, toured the Grand Canyon, climbed ancient Greek ruins and so much more. And although all of that is impressive for a dog, I think the most impressive part about her was that she did all of that while guiding me and making sure I was safe. She even kept me from getting backed over by a semi-truck on my university campus. She worked even harder than she played, and let me tell you, the girl knew how to let her "fur" down.
While on duty she was a rock, confident and stubborn. Off duty though, she was a little trouble maker who had a taste for freedom once the leash was unsnapped. She always took off running and no amount of calling would bring her back until she was ready. She gave me a few panic attacks doing that, but she always came back...eventually. She always found things to get into as well. Once, she knocked an entire tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on to the floor and we found her and our two cats eating them together. She even climbed up on to Tenie's dresser from her bed side table to try to get a hold of a chocolate bar. She ate Carmen's lipstick and left a pink stain on Carmen's white blanket. Jetta was  magical in that she could find mischief where there shouldn't have been any.
When she worked, though, she did so with a confidence and satisfaction that made me smile. Her street crossings were always spot on, but if she wasn't feeling like going to the pool that day, I had to argue with her to turn where she should. She was really good at trotting right past a doorway if she wasn't done going for a walk. I learned her little quirks though and we worked well. We had a few rough months in the beginning, but we smoothed those out and she really was a great little worker.
When we were matched, I asked her trainer why he had given her to me and he replied,
"because she's stubborn and always hungry...just like you."
And, he was right. If I hadn't been more stubborn than her, we never would have made it. Plus, I shared her love for food. When we first got on to the university campus, I don't think we made it to class on time, or at all some days, for the first two months. If I said "Jetta, left," Jetta went right or straight or turned around. She had a mind of her own, and still does, and no amount of coaxing on my part was going to change it.
That said, she was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I even got a tattoo of her paw print to commemorate our working relationship. She made so many things possible, including allowing me to attend a conference completely sighted guide free. Things just wouldn't have been the same without her little hip wiggle and wagging tail.  I am so grateful for the time that we did work together and glad she has a home that is loving where she can be a chubby retired girl.
Happy anniversary, Jetta. You will always be my special girl.

Our Household: Part 5

We're back to the humans today and so that means you get to read all about me. Don't worry, I won't make the post too long. ;)
I don't know whether I go looking for adventure or if I just  turn everything I do into an adventure, but I always feel like I have some  story to tell. That is part of the reason why I started this blog so many years ago. That said, usually my stories involve me in some way, since it is my life, but I am not usually the focal point. In fact, I find it hard to write about myself: I think a lot of people do, but I'll try to give you a small glimpse into what makes me tick.
I was born with an illness called Retinal Blastoma, which is cancer in my retinas. Nobody knew until I was about two and I had lost both of my eyes by the time I was three. Both of my eyes are prosthetic and I can't tell you how many pranks I've played on people with them. Not to mention, the unintentional things that happen when you have prosthetic eyes. Anyway...
Despite being a blind kid, I think I had a pretty good childhood. Sure, there was some bullying and most definitely some exclusion by other kids, but I had one friend who I met when I was seven and she and I have been inseparable ever since then. In fact, the longest we were apart was when she moved to Scotland for her Master's degree and I wasn't far behind her. That friendship made all the difference in the world. I was so lucky, and still am very lucky, to have had Tenie as my best friend. Together we took on the world, but not in your typical little girl way.
When we played "house" the dolls we played with weren't our children, but were being babysat and would be picked up by their moms at the end of the day. When we played "Barbies" our Barbie dolls were witches and wizards and battling evil for the greater good of the world. We found games in hopping around in cardboard boxes, riding tandem bikes, singing at the top of our lungs and fishing in a river with fishing nets and thigh high rubber boots. We were pretty creative kids and I am so glad I had her to share those experiences with. We definitely made our own adventures back then.
I did attend a school for the blind for three years, but it was my decision to go and it was my decision to return to the public school system. Tenie was there of course and she made navigating high school so much more enjoyable. I went off to university a year ahead of her, but fate was kind and she ended up at the same university a year later. By that point, I had been working with Jetta for a year and had attended one Paralympic Games.
All in all, I attended three Paralympic Games-Sydney, Athens and Beijing-and swimming had been a huge part of my life. The swimming trials for the Paralympic Games were actually a few days ago and it was the first time in 12 years that I wasn't there. It's kind of a funny feeling; kind of sad, but also relieved as well. I retired from swimming at the end of Beijing and moved on to massage therapy college, with Glacier in tow.
2008 saw some big changes, with me beginning to work with a new dog and I also met Mr. K. Retiring from swimming that year also forced me to redefine who I was and find ways to fill my time. Sometimes I still struggle with that. After spending so long, committing so much time and energy into one activity, you almost don't know what to do with all of the extra time.
I graduated from massage therapy college, got married, moved to SC, had many experiences with various dogs and then ended up in Scotland, waiting to go back to school for my Master's degree in the fall. Of course, other things happened along the way, but I would have to write a novel and I'm not sure it would sell. :)
I have a lot of interests: such as jewelry/soap making, dog training/behavior,  reading, writing, volunteering, singing, attempting to train for a triathlon (which has sort of been put on hold), horseback riding Etc. I've never been able to sit still well and I think having retired from swimming has increased my need for movement.
The famous quote for this blog seems to be:
"there is never a dull moment"
and although I like to blame it on my dogs, I think I'm really good at putting myself into those situations. Honestly though, I wouldn't have it any other way. :)