Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Where We're At

The last couple of days have been slightly difficult; a bit of an emotional roller coaster really. One minute I'm good with the decision I've made and another I want to take it back, but I know it's for the best. He's the same old inconsistent Glacier and so, I know it is what we both need. He's such a cuddle bug, all curled up next to me right now and I am going to miss him terribly. We've thrown around a few options for where he will go, including keeping him, but staying with us has definitely been crossed off the list.
I had originally thought that if I got a group of guide runners together, that he could be my running buddy. He could stay home with Hermione when we went out and she wouldn't feel left out and alone.  I had also thought that I'd get him back into Rally Obedience and enroll him as a therapy dog. All great ideas except that with me going back to school, Mr. K in school, getting a new working dog, I don't think Glacier would get the attention he needs and deserves. He really needs to go to a home where he is the centre of attention and he can be doted on. That's all he really wants, I think. So, unfortunately, staying with us has been scratched off the list. I say that, but there will be times between now and getting the new dog where I will try to work it out in my head how we can keep him even though I know that is not a realistic or responsible choice.
I've had a few friends offer to take him and it's something I'm seriously considering. If he went to live with this friend, he'd be close and we'd get to see him. Plus, get very regular updates. He'd also be able to have play dates with Roscoe, which I think both boys would really like. In the last week or so, Roscoe and Hermione have really started bonding and that makes me think that Roscoe will be a bit better off with Glacier leaving than he would have been. However, it'd be great if the two boys could still see  one another and play.
The guide Dog  rep that came to visit said that he would help us find a home for him and that perhaps Glacier could be a companion dog for a child with a intellectual disability. I think he'd be great at being a companion dog and would love it. So, if my friend doesn't work out, I would be okay with this option. Apparently you can request that you stay in contact with the new  owners and that he stays in the area where you are living. I think I will do this because I am just not okay with completely letting him go without me knowing where he is and how he's doing. Obviously, I won't interfere with his bonding to his new family or let our relationship interfere with my new dog,  but knowing how much I still miss Jetta tells me that letting him go without any contact would drive me insane.
So, really, am I okay? For the most part. I have my moments where I need to cry or run 4 kilometres on the treadmill to get my frustrations out, but every time we work somewhere, I know I'm making the right decision. It is so obvious he'd rather be off exploring and adventuring instead of getting me from point A to point B and I'm glad that I just finally know that now. He's a great dog and I am going to miss his little quirks so much, but again, making the right decision for everyone usually isn't the easiest or the most ideal. I am just going to take it a day at a time and enjoy the time that we have left to work together.
Thank you to everyone for their encouraging comments. You guys have made this so much easier, knowing that I have support all around the world. It's kind of incredible don't you think?


Lisa and pups said...

I can't imagine how difficult a decision like that must be. But it just shows your overwhelming love and concern for him to consistently put his needs over your own! Rest assured in your decision. Sounds like you made the right one.

Molly The Wally said...

Doing the right thing is never easy and you know what is best. Chin up.
Best wishes Molly

Finn said...

Such a tough decision, but I believe you know you made the right one. Just have to take it one day at a time.

Becky said...

Been out of town so slow in cheering you on in this difficult process. xoxo

Jen said...

Irish guide dogs do this too and its a great option for people who can't keep their dogs. At least you would know that he is still making a difference in someones life.
Just one thing to consider if you decide to rehome him with a friend. I know someone who did this with their first dog. The friend had good intentions but gradually as the person went to see the dog, they noticed that it was putting on a lot of weight and not getting the attention it deserved. The former owner found this very hard to deal with as it technically wasn't his dog anymore, so he therefore rehomed his next 4 dogs at the guide dog organisation, where they found homes for them. Its just something to keep in mind, but knowing you, I know you would do your research and be sure that the friend looking after him does the perfect job.
I couldn't not see my dog either if it was rehomed.

ps. I sort of hope a friend takes him, because I'm hoping to go to Edinborough within the next year, would love to meet you, and would love to give the big guy a hug if I could see him :)