I'd be lying if I told everyone that everything is just rainbows and sunshine over here. Most of the time I'm a pretty upbeat, happy person, but like any person I have my days. Today is one of those days. When I started this blog, I promised myself to write everything; the good, the bad and the ugly. My goal was to try to capture, as accurately as possible, what it was like to live as a blind person and so this is where today's post is coming from.
It's not really the most horrible thing in the world, but I have been without a working dog for four months now and I am going absolutely crazy. The last time I didn't have a dog, I was a teenager, living in my parents' house which meant that I usually had a way to get to where I needed to go. Not to mention, I had not experience what it was like to work with a guide dog yet. My current situation gives me an even greater appreciation for what my parents did for me. Now, I'm a grown woman, living in a still somewhat foreign country, with things that need to get done and things that I want to get done and I can't. I'm stuck. I don't think I've ever experienced this in my entire life.
When this all started, I thought I'd be okay. I figured that a few months and a dog would be found, but it's going on four months, which feels like a life time right now, and it's not easy. I hate relying on others to get me to where I need, or even, want to go. I feel like I have to pick and choose what activities I need to get to, or want to get to, so that when the really important ones come up, I can get there. It's like I have so many "I'll get you here" tickets and I have to "spend" them wisely and a lot of times those get spent on things that I have to do as oppose to what I want to do.
Is this precisely what's going on? No, not really, but this is just how I feel right now. I think what worries me even more is that the month of December is a complete write off and so it will be going on six months by the time a dog MAY be found and there's no guarantees with that either. It's just frustrating.