On Tops of the World!

Herro everyone! Hermione heres. The mama has been hogging the 'puter thingy and so, I haves not been ables to type to you fur a very very very very long time.
Hmmmm, "hogging." Isn't thats a funny word? What's a hogs anyways?
I'm heres today to tells you a story. Wells, I ams always heres to tell you a story. I guess, it's mores to tells you about an argument the Mama and I had and hows I am right and hers is wrong. Hers still hasn't accepted this very very very simple truth; that I ams rights and hers is wrong. Hers really needs to get with the program.
Just yesterday the Mama was eating hers supper and I thoughts I should haves some. I had already had my supper, buts sharing is very impawtant and so the Mama should really shares hers stuff with me. Hers doesn't see it that way, buts I'm working on hers. The Mama sits on our couch to eats suppers because our home is small and the Daddy's 'puter stuff is alls over the kitchen table. Him does not have a desk because there just isn't the room.
At first, I tried to sit beside hers and carefully sneaks my way on to her cap, um, flap...lap. Hers said,
"hermione, no. Off."
I hates those two words. no  "" and "off" are not words that should be used when the Mama is talking to me. I ams just saying.
So, because I am a good girl, I got off of the Mama's cap and went and sat at the end of the couch. I just couldn't understands why the Mama wouldn't shares with me. Sharing is only the nice thingy to do. So, I gots to thinking, maybe the Mama was confused and forgots how to share. I tried a new plan of aback...attack.
I went back to the Mama and gots in her cap again, buts kept my nose to myself. I thoughts that if hers saw that I was a sweet, nice girl that hers would remember to share, but I couldn't sit like that fur very long. The smells of hers fishes and green beans was too much for my little pupppee senses. So, I accidentally leaned towards hers plate and hers said,
"Hermione, no. Off."
I did what I was tolds, buts oh hows I wanted some fishes and beans. So, I went to my thinking spots again and started thinking. That's when it struck me: the coffee table was in front of the Mama, maybe ifI could sees her better, she'd want to share. So, I hopped down from the couch and put my plan into action.
It was a bit difficult at firsts, since I haves never done this befores. I puts my front arms up on the coffee table because I am tall enough to do that nows, buts did it very very very very quietly. The Mama can't sees me, buts her can sure hears me. I hads to be very very very carefuls because my shiny bone tag makes a lot of noise when it hits thingies. Once my arms were in place, I pushed with my feets and tried leaping, buts I am a small puppee and only five months old, so I just couldn't makes it. The fishes smelled so good and I wanted to try the beans, so I did not give ups. The mama says that when hers was little her teachers used to say,
"if at first you don't succeed, try try again." Good device...rice...erm, advice Mama.
Ands "try, try agains," is exactly what I did.
With my arms on the top and my feets pushing from the bottom I gots high enough to gets my feets on the second shelf. I was so excited, I hopped a little mores and suddenlys I was on the coffee table. I marched myself-well, marched as much as I coulds in a very small space-to the middle of the table and showed the Mama my best "sit stay" ever.
See, Mama? Our training is working!
I stared straight at hers in my perfect "sit stay" and waited fur hers to share with me. I had worked hard. I deserved a reward, rights?
The Mama noticed me and covered her mouths with hers hand and squeaked,
"what are you doing?"
Hers was trying not to laugh. I knows it!
Then, hers three favourite words came out: "Hermione, no. Off."
"Buts, Mama! I worked so hard. I thoughts of this plan all on my own ands I'm sitting!"
Hers waited and I got off. Hers told me I was a good girl in her happy voice, buts hers was still not forthcoming with hers stinking fishes.
After I went off to plays with my Roscoe brother, hers told the Daddy what had happened and they both were snorting and squeaking and shaking like crazy hu Man and Hu Woman.
I haven't done it agains, buts it's a great trick ands I will remember to use it one of these days when I needs to impress someone. Maybe they will be mores impressed than the Mama and the Daddy and they'll hands overs some stinking fishes.
Nows that you knows the story, you can sees that I am rights! Rights? Sharing is a nice thingy to do and if you works hard, you should be rewarded. The Mama says that I haves my princesses...principupils...principles? Principles right, buts that I still don't gets fishes.
What's that all abouts, Mama?!