Herro all of my wonderfuls furriends. Hermione heres to tells you abouts how there is never a dull moment in our home. At least, that is what da Mama says. Wells, technically Glacier made you furriends firsts, buts since I a da baby, I gets everything the big brothers haves. So, you are my furriends too.
Anyway, I ams getting subtracted, ah, distracted from my story. And, lets me tells you, it's a great story because it is barring, um, carring, no...starring, yes, starring our favourites Mama. Wells, hers is my favourite Mama.
Okays, rights. my story abouts my favourite Mama.
Since da Mama is just waiting to go to school in September, whatevers that means-who cares, as longs as I can goes too-hers tries to stay busy around our home. Hers makes us cookies, cleans thingies that need cleaning and plays with me, which is the most important job. Hers decided to be busy as soon as hers woke up this morning and put some loondry, lunchdry...ah, dirty clothes into the washers machine. Hers puts the soap where the soap goes, closed the washers machine door and pushed the "on" button. Then, so that the noise from the washers machine didn't bother hers, her closed the bathroom door.
You see, our home is small and the washers machine lives in the bathroom and the dryers machine lives in the living room. Hers then got busy doing other important stuffs like snuggling me whiles I napped, drinking coffee-hers needs to drink that stuff or hers is kind of scary-and did some crazy 'puter stuffs. Hers even gots the dishes washed, the kitchen cleaned, me walked and obedience trained befores the washers machine was done being noisy. See? Hers is busy.
Anyway, when hers heard that the machine was done, hers went to go into the bathroom. Hers said not to tell you, but hers really had to pee from drinking all that coffee, but when hers pushed on the door it would not open.
No matter how hard she pushed, rattled the door and said bad words, the door was stuck. The crazy washers machine had run aways and blocked the bathroom door, locking da Mama out. Hers was desperate. Hers really had to pee and her had no idea how to get the door open. I thinks hers may have considered peeing in the kitchen sink, but I coulds be wrong.
After her crazy pushing, groaning and saying bad words, da Mama stopped and I knew hers had an idea. I watched hers very carefully because not all of her ideas are good ones. She went into the closet and came out with this long stick with bristely hair on the end. A groom? A loom? Broom? Yes, broom.
"Whats ya gonna do with that Mama?" I tried asking hers by stepping on her feets, but she really had to pee and so ignored me.
"What? You are ignoring me? Hermione Sophia!" But hers just kept trying to shoves the groom under the door. I tried to help by putting my wee nose under the door, buts I haves no idea whats hers was looking for. So, I went off to chew on a shoe, which hers noticed and told me not to.
Really, Mama? You don't notice my helpfulness, but you notice me chewing on a shoe?
After hers realised that the groom was too big to fit under the door, hers got this crazy metal grate/plunger/stick thing. I had no idea whats it was, so I looked it up. Apparently, da Mama thoughts a potato masher would do the trick. Whatevers possessed hers to get a potato masher is beyond my little puppy brain, but there hers was, lying on her tummy, feets braced on the living room door frame with the handle end of the potato masher shoved under the bathroom door.
I again tried to be helpful because dat is how I rolls, but da Mama told me to sit.
Can you believe the nerve of hers? She told ME to sit when I was just trying to be helpful by fluffing hers hair. Everyone can use a good hair fluffing from times to times, rights?
Anyway, I guess da Mama actually had a good idea this time because after hers pushed a couple of times with the potato masher, the door banged open. I don't thinks da Mama knows her own strength sometimes.
When I told big brothers Glacier and Roscoe they tolds me it was typical Mama luck. I guess these thingies happen to hers all of the time. That is why we try to keep hers out of the kitchen as much as pawssible. I thoughts da Mama would be mad, but nope. Hers laughed and said,
"Hermione, I think the universe has a sense of humour and likes to keep me on my toes."
"Toes, Mama? Lick them? Okays!"