Tuesday, February 08, 2011

The Crazy Landlord Lady

I had something completely different planned for today's post, but after this afternoon's phone call I quickly changed my mind. Originally I was going to enlighten my lovely audience of the crazy costs of owning dogs, but how it doesn't matter because it is totally worth it, but instead I would like to introduce you to the Crazy Landlord Lady.
I piddled around this morning doing my normal morning things. I fed the dogs, had breakfast, made coffee, made a few phone calls related to our move to Scotland and other mundane life tasks that must be done. I found myself in the need of a good exercise session. I have been feeling sluggish the past couple of days and I know it's because I have been neglecting my exercise regiment. As a retired competitive swimmer, I am used to physical activity and I don't feel like I get enough at this point in my life. So, I changed out of my jammies into my sneakers and gym clothes and locked myself in the extra bedroom Mr. K and I have turned into a very small and squished workout room. I slapped a set of headphones over my ears and turned Pandora on. I busied myself for about 45 minutes riding Matilda-my bike-and using free weights as an arm workout. By the time I was done, I was a very sweaty girl, but a very happy girl. I pulled the headphones off to hear Balloo and Aria scratching under the door. They know when I'm finished because the very loud humming of Matilda's tires stops and they start digging to get to me. I kicked off my runners and went out into the hall where I was greeted by bouncing fur babies and a very licky Glacier. I hadn't noticed that Mr. K was on the phone before I opened the door, but upon emerging, I heard his "serious" voice booming through the house. I knew it wasn't any of the dogs getting in trouble because all four were frantically jumping on or licking me. His voice started taking on words and I heard fragments of sentences like,
"Well the dog poop is the least of your worries since you can't rent the house because it is not up to code," and
"I wouldn't say that the electrical box hanging off the back of the house and the giant hole in the bedroom window that I had to tape shut because bugs were coming in is petty."
My happy heart sank. He was on the phone with the landlords. We had told them that we were moving out almost two weeks ago-about six days before our new/used fridge died. Yes, we were without a fridge again. I couldn't understand why she was calling now. Did she want more money because the dogs had messed the backyard? My euphoria was slipping away, so I hurried into the bathroom and plunged my head under the hot spray int the hopes of drowning out his conversation. I didn't want to hear bits of it. That would just work me up more. I wanted him to tell me about it when he was done. And tell me he did.
As I was hopping out of the shower, feeling a bit calmer and Balloo was licking the shower water from my feet madly, Mr. K came into my haven of steamy goodness and told me everything.
She was calling because she wanted to show the place. I was flabbergasted. She wanted to show The House of Hell? She thought they would get someone to rent it? The Crazy Landlord Lady had told Mr. K that the hole in the window was petty because when she had viewed it before we moved in, it wasn't very big. Are you serious?! She knew about it and didn't think that the temperature changes between the very hot South Carolina summer outside and the air conditioned inside wouldn't make the hole get bigger? Glass splits with temperature changes and differences. We had to use packing tape to hold the window together and apparently this was a "petty" problem.
I'm not sure what her reasoning for the electrical box dangling from the back of the house was petty, but this issue didn't concern her either. Even though that is a fire hazard and deems the house uninhabitable. We had told her about this problem back in September when it happened, but nothing was done about it.
There were a bunch of other promises that they made that were never followed through on. They had said that they would close up the swamp cooler, whatever that is, and spray insulation in the attic because it is a huge energy waster, but it never happened. They left us without a fridge for a total of five days between the two times that the fridges died. As blind people we can't just go out and buy food every day-we need a fridge. We were also without water for a total of nine days from November 2010 to January 2011 and we were gone for two weeks in December. Really? And all she is concerned about is dog poop.
Of course we are going to clean the backyard up to the best of our ability. A few people said just leave it and don't clean the house before we leave, but that reflects poorly on us. They might be completely irresponsible human beings, but we are not.
So it turns out the Crazy Landlord Lady is bringing a person by on Thursday and three on Saturday and we're going to be here. If the potential tenants ask questions, I am answering them honestly.
"Yes it's a nice fireplace, but it doesn't work. It leaks when it rains."
"Of course you can take a shower every day, but invest in a rubber mat because there is rust in the tub." And so on and so forth.
I'm not angry anymore. I was at first, but now it's just amusing. Thankfully in seventeen days we will be rid of the Crazy Landlord Lady and will be living in a place where the property management staff care. There are even two pools on site and a little workout centre. The neighbourhood also has sidewalks throughout it and we can walk to Cracker Barrel for breakfast if we would like to. It's still not ideal, as this city is extremely inaccessible, but it will work until we move to Scotland. And the best part is that we won't have to worry about us or our stuff going up in flames because an electrical wire fell on the back deck.


Jen said...

What a stinking landlord!
You have a great way of telling a bad story and making it sound good and read well, if that makes sense?

Jess and Glacier said...

Lol thanks. And yes that makes sense.
I had to turn into something funny or my head may have exploded. :)

Dog Foster Mom said...

Thanks for visiting my blog - I'm very happy to have found yours! Wow, Scotland, that's so exciting (but scary). Sorry to hear about the landlord problems - glad you're getting out of there!

Jess and Glacier said...

Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad I found yours as well. I have a lot of interest in dogs and I can't seem to decide where to go with it-showing, breeding, fostering...? So I am excited to read your blog. :)

L^2 said...

Glad you're getting out of there soon. I've had my share of bad landlords who never wanted to fix things and who thought their houses were totally great when they were really unbelievably awful. So frustrating, but sometimes all you can do is laugh. *hugs*

Jess and Glacier said...

So true L^2